Inspiration or Desperation?

I struggled all last week to write my sermon for this morning.  I read and re-read the text. I took notes and wrote down questions.  But nothing happened.  Whatever process or inspiration that usually works within me as I prepare to preach on Sunday did not happen this week.  No words. No thoughts. No ideas.  Nothing.

As Sunday loomed nearer and still nothing was coming out, I prepared myself to re-use an old sermon. I’ve saved many of my previous sermons (the ones I’ve felt were worth saving) and considered the possibility of using a “canned” sermon.  I’ve done that on occasion… not often, but when I’ve been overworked or out of town it has come down to just this – reusing one of my old sermons.

I don’t use other people’s sermons.  There are many wonderful preachers, but if reusing my sermons is a bit of a cheat, then using someone else’s work (even with credit) is even more so. 

At about 11:30 last night my wife asked me if I was ready.  I smiled weakly and said, “No. Not at all.”  Even as I walked into the church building this morning I was still blank. I had nothing and I knew it. I felt like an idiot.

For whatever reason, the attendance this morning was sparse – only a few of our congregation members were in the pews as we began the service.  And in the snarky part of my mind I said to myself, “well, at least I didn’t waste all that time preparing a sermon.”

And then something moved. I don’t know if it was inspiration or desperation.  Perhaps it was both. Instead of speaking from the pulpit, I moved down among the pews and began to speak a blessing over those in attendance.   I asked God to bless each of them personally and specifically. 

This seemed good to me – and to those few who were in attendance.  There was a positive reaction.  (Whether or not it was merely an emotional reaction, I cannot say…) 

Either way – desperation or inspiration – it was a good worship service.

At least I hope that God considers it so.