Psalm 83: An End Times Paranoia

A Song.  A Psalm of A sap.

The War is coming. 
The signs are there for us to see.

O God, do not be silent,
be neither deaf nor dumb

See how my enemies…er…
                                …your enemies…
see how your enemies are rising up,
can you hear their arrogant intifada?

They have forged a secret alliance against us!
They have said that they will destroy us!
And they have formed an alliance against you

(and by “you” I mean “me”).

This alignment of nations, this spring time confederacy
includes the Iraqis, Syrians, and Arabs,
camel riding Ishmaelites, and  socialist Egyptians.
It includes the Palestinians coming from their tents on the West-Bank
and the Assyrians, rising from the dust and ashes of history
to make war against us once more.

We’ll be right back with more of Psalm 83: An End Times Paranoia, but first these words from our sponsor:

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And now back to Psalm 83: An End Times Paranoia

O God! Put a tent peg through their heads, just like you did to Sisera.
Smear them into the ground, like those who became
dung for the ground at the battle of En-dor.
Make them like Oreeb or Zeeb or however you pronounce their stupid names.

And let us seize for ourselves these pasturelands of God!

Blow them away like dust
pursue them with storms, burn their mountains with fire
so that they’ll remember that we are the Superpower in this world.