I get the weirdest Spam in my email account...
Dear Friend,
I will open MY mouth in
Figures. I WILL utter things that have been concealed since creation.
Do accept my sincere
apologies if my mail does not meet your personal ethics, but please be assured
that it remains top secret and classified.
It has been sent to you and only you.
I will introduce myself
to you as Mr. Marcus L. Paracelcus, a highly
placed staff member of the Accounts Management Section of The First Alchemist
Bank of Alkahest. One of our larger accounts with holding balance of US$4,000,000
(Four Million US Dollars) has been Dormant and has not been operated for the
past six years.
From my investigation
and confirmation, the owner of this account a foreigner, died in August 2005
and since his death nobody has done anything as regards the claiming of this
money because he has no family members…at least, none who were aware of the
existence of either the account or the funds.
I discussed this matter
with some of my colleagues and we have agreed to find a Reliable Partner to
deal with. We thus propose to do business with you, standing in as the NEXT OF
KIN to the deceased, and funds will be released to you after due processes have
been followed and necessary acid baths have been applied.
This transaction is
totally free of risk and troubles* as the fund is completely legitimate and
does not originate from Drug Sales, Money Laundering, Terrorism or any other
illegal act.
Also, after a
successful completion of this transaction, we intend to give you 40% of the
account funds, plus an additional check to cover whatever expenses that you may
incur. We also pledge to provide
complete medical and life insurance during the alchemical transference.
If you are interested,
send me the following information via email to me so that we can start
processing this transaction.
1. Your complete name
2. Your time of birth-
as exact as possible, please. This will assist our in-house astrologers in
computing an accurate horoscope for you.
3. Fax number where our agents can reach you.
4. A description of your 15 most recent dreams (a complete narrative, if you can remember).
Thank you for your
understanding
Regards,
M. Paracelcus
* Or, as free from risk
and troubles as I can make a procedure such as this.
lol!!!
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