Obama Removes References to God from Gettysburg Address and the Bible

Conservatives were irked yesterday by President Barack Obama’s reading of the Gettysburg address – omitting the phrase ‘under God.’  The reading was part of a project, directed by noted historian Ken Burns, to celebrate the 150^th anniversary of the famous speech.

"Lincoln added 'Under God' as he was looking out over battlefield. Why would Obama remove?" Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said on Twitter. Conservative Christian leader Bryan Fischer added "Obama's omission of 'under God' is more evidence of his anti-Christian bigotry. He honors Islam but disrespects Christianity."

It was explained that readings of the speech were contributed by several different personalities and leaders – and that they were reading from different versions of the speech.  There are at least five different written versions of the speech. President Obama was asked to read an early version of the speech (known as the Nicolay copy - named for Lincoln's personal secretary), which omits the words "under God" and also contains several additional phrases that differ from the version of the speech Lincoln delivered.

But before their ire could die away, conservative Christians were infuriated once again to discover that references to God have been removed from the biblical books of Esther and Song of Songs.

“We just happened to be reading from the book of Esther, taking a break from reading the book of Revelations,” said Conservative spokesperson David Drusba, “and we noticed that all references to God had been removed from the book. Obama just took them out! We were so shocked that we went through some of the other books to see if Obama and expunged God from any of the others.”

“It’s all part of Obama and his Marxist Muslim cronies’ plan to quietly and secretly remove all references to God from our culture,” continued Drusba.  “First they drop a reference to God from the Gettysburg address, then they erase God from some of the books of our Bible, and before you know it there are lesbian Nazi hookers selling drugs to children on every street corner.  They thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did! ”