Dr. Tarrec’s Free Weekly Horoscope #16

Aries – The ancient prophecies describe hastily made decisions within the halls of military power as well as disagreements and fist fights on the Senate floor. How will you get involved?

Taurus – The Knight will demonstrate his strength. He impresses the people, but remains unaware, oblivious of the infection that he carries. Follow the standard procedures for blood and body fluid clean up, but do not be overawed by the prestigious adventurer.

Gemini – A war is coming. Gogmagog! brings good omens but unsatisfactory returns. More than seven months wasted.

Cancer – The Queen is illuminated, her swords gleam, sharp and keen-witted. Is she an angel? Is she ill tempered? Approach with caution.

Leo – There is poison in the water. One cup brings love and friendship; the second brings 42 months, 1260 days of mystery.

Virgo – The wheel will turn, spinning fortune will be obeyed. Destiny will never be satisfied.

Libra – The soldiers of the Hierophant rattle their sabers. Five swords of destiny and six swords bring the stalemate of anxiety.

Scorpio – A friend is seduced and then buried in rapid succession, buried near a body of water.  Always near a body of water. This is how these things happen. 

Sagittarius – The Victorious Magician (you know who he is) will ride out of the enemy’s camp, leaving their tents in flames. 

Capricorn – Swear the oath of authority quickly, before the Emperor decides that he can find no discernible logic in your proposal. Swear, before it is too late! Swear!

Aquarius – The Gates of Thunder are open and Death clears away the old. Death makes way for the new. Soldiers attack their comrades; the bodies are left upon the mountain.

Pisces – The Nine Miseries of Carl von Clausewitz have emerged within the European Union. We are unstrung. This great shaking of blood makes new martyrs of bad men.