Dr. Tarrec’s Free Weekly Horoscope #35

Aries – Take the clothes, the clothes that you are wearing, the clothes that you are wearing right now and trade the dead man (woman) in the basement. You are someone else. You are not who you were. You are a new woman (man).

Taurus – This fire needs an audience – but it only happens once, maybe twice in a decade. Let it burn. Watch. You won’t see me again. My name went up in the conflagration. This is for your protection. All dental records were lost, along with trust. Everything was lost with a bit of misdirection and sleight of hand.

Gemini – Improvisational drama performed by silent mules will get you nowhere. Bean counters and corporate lawyers do not get it. They see no future in it. You’ve got nothing the defense contractors want and so you are worthless. You are worthless without the numbers.

Cancer – Reverse the questions. Don’t answer. Repeat the questions. Do not answer. Revise the questions. Answer nothing.

Leo – There will be risk. There will be understatement. There will be treason and poison. There will be gunfire. There will be smoke and eyeliner. There will be danger and trial. There will be dust. And you will see it all.

Virgo – Proper paperwork will ensure safekeeping. Your music has arrived.

Libra – We found vintage high tech decryption equipment. FAX me the details. It’s not safe to talk on the phone. Look for the story in tomorrow’s paper, on the front page.

Scorpio – It’s all over except for the lasers. Zip! Zap! Zowie! It will still burn, even after three months. Zounds!

Sagittarius – Someone approaches in the dark and fog of the night, strangers in a van. Let’s party with balloons and ringing bells, with baboons and jelly rolls. Get down. Stay down. Burn it down.

Capricorn – Silence is a killer. The killers have silencers. Reporters will be downed. Heralds will be broken.

Aquarius – Are you hit? Are you hurt? Are you human? No gunpowder. No proof. No prints.

Pisces – Wait. Five minutes till everything changes. Do you have the correct passcode? Do you have proper and valid ID? Two minutes now. Have you fully and completely denounced those on the enemies list? All of them?