No Answer but Silence

“There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job.” Job was a good man, a righteous man who, because of cosmic wager between God and the Satan, lost his wealth, his family and even his health. And yet through it all he insisted that God was good.

The story of Job is a Theodicy. It is an attempt to explain the problem of evil and suffering. How do we reconcile the presence of evil and pain and suffering in the world with our belief in good and loving God? If God is good why does he allow people to hurt and to grieve and to suffer? If God is powerful why does he not stop natural disasters?

These are not just esoteric philosophical, theological, questions for scholars and academics. Everyone everywhere has asked this most difficult of questions: Why? It’s part of who we are as human beings. We hurt and we want to know why. We weep and we want to know that God cares. Cultures around the world and all through history have asked these questions. And after thousands of years of asking the question and debating the issue, what answer to I have? What wisdom, what insight do I have into the problem of pain?

I don’t know.

Now, to be sure, the flooding here along the Red River and further west in Jamestown haven’t been as catastrophic as in past years. There hasn’t been the destruction and devastation that we’ve seen in other natural disasters or in human caused destruction. But being here these days causes me to probe these theodicean questions. Why?

The Salvation Army responds to floods and hurricanes and earthquakes, and burning buildings. Our Emergency Disaster Service (EDS) teams offer cold water and hot coffee and the comfort of food to those in crisis situations. But even more than that, we offer the comforting presence of one who cares. Spiritual and emotional care is just as important as that cup of coffee.

And it has always bothered me that I can’t answer these questions. I do not know why God allows floods or hurricanes or earthquakes. I do not know why.

Sometimes I feel like I don't know
Sometimes I feel like checking out.
I wanna’ get it wrong
Can't always be strong
And love, it won't be long.
       Ultraviolet (Light My Way) – U2

As a cadet on my summer assignment I was called to respond to a drowning. A group of teenage boys had been swimming in the river. One of them was pulled under by the current and swept away. The rescue workers and dive teams went to work, and the Salvation Army EDS team was there to offer sandwiches and beverages to them. After making sure that the food and drinks were laid out and that the EDS team was set up to do what they needed to do, I sat down in a chair next to the family of the missing boy. I sat there with them for three days until their son was found. And I said nothing.

What could I have said to them? I was 21. I had no answers. And now more than a decade later, I still have no answer to that kind of question, no satisfying answer anyway.

I could give those stupid and clichéd answers: “well, God must have wanted him in heaven…” or “It was just his time.” But I don’t believe those answers. And I know that when I suffered a loss in my own life that kind of answer only made me angry.

I have no answer but silence.

A friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief or bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing … not healing … not curing …that is a friend who cares.  -Henri Nouwen

When You Go Through the Deep Waters

When you go through the deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown. Isaiah 43: 2 (New Living Translation)

It’s nearly over. The Red River has crested and the waters are slowly receding. Fargo and Moorhead and the other communities along its banks can breathe a sigh of relief. In Jamestown, North Dakota the US Army Corps of Engineers has suspended building of the levee system, noting lower than predicted run off. If the dikes and sandbags hold and barring a major snow or rainstorm in the area, the water levels should continue to go down.

With a grin Steve Carbno, The Salvation Army’s Deputy Incident Commander, said that he feels a little cheated. “We planned to a level that we never got to.” But that’s a good thing. “We learned a lot of lessons in last years flooding that we were able to put into practice this year. Our response to this year’s flooding was very efficient.”

It was a great effort from all of our volunteers, employees and the Salvation Army officers who came into the area from across the Northern Division. Captain Bill Mealy, Corps Officer of the Salvation Army in Fargo credited them for their hard work. “I’m not sure how I would have made it through this without each of you.”

In addition to the flood Captain Mealy and his wife, Captain Ann Mealy have been dealing with some personal difficulties. Captain Bill is recovering from a surgical procedure on his leg and in the midst of the flood efforts their daughter was taken to the hospital for an emergency operation. “This would have been too much for me, alone,” said Captain Mealy.

As the waters continue to dissipate and things begin returning to normal The Salvation Army will continue to serve the physical and spiritual needs of the people of these areas, ministering to them and serving them in the name of God.

Somewhere, God is Laughing

Sometimes we only get things done by the grace and good humor of God. I know that God must be laughing at us this morning; I can almost hear the cosmic belly rolls of divine guffaws reverberating in the air. It’s definitely a Monday.

The Salvation Army’s Emergency Disaster Service (EDS) response is well organized and able to respond quickly and efficiently to disasters and emergencies of all kinds. We can get volunteers and vital supplies to afflicted areas with a moments notice, but sometimes we demonstrate our human fallibility.

This morning was one of those times.

It began as the canteen crews were loading their supplies – the sandwiches, snacks, and beverages that are served to the flood response teams around the city. One of the canteens was locked and the key hadn’t been put in its proper place. A radio call to the previous evening’s driver went unanswered. A phone call to his cell phone was similarly unanswered. A runner was dispatched to his hotel room to find him and to find the missing canteen key.

Meanwhile a truck with a load of bottled water was on its way to the command center and the canteen was still parked and locked in front of the loading area, blocking the door through which 14 pallets of water would need to be moved.

I wish that I had been ready with my camera to photograph the EDS ingenuity at work, but I missed it. Others among the team here are quite relieved that I wasn’t quick on the draw. They don’t want any evidence of this morning’s misadventure to leak out.

The back end of the obstructing canteen was lifted with a forklift and then rolled – ever so carefully- forward until it was out of the way.

Last night’s driver (who’d been on the late late shift) answered the door with bleary eyes and rumpled hair to hand over the missing key.

And everything is back to, well, whatever passes for normal during these kinds of events. The canteen crews are out delivering food and beverages. The truckload of water was unloaded into the warehouse. And somewhere in the heavens, God is having a great chuckle at our expense.

Mooreton, North Dakota - Search and Rescue and Service

The uniformed members of the various response agencies must have nearly outnumbered the population of the little town of Mooreton, North Dakota.  Members of the North Dakota Highway Patrol, County Sherriff, the Coast Guard, the National Guard, Border Patrol, Customs Agents, U.S. Fish and Wildlife, Valley Water Rescue Crew, and various Fire Departments from the area all responded to the report of a missing person.

A young woman from this little community where everyone knows everyone and everyone is connected to everyone, went missing last night.  She'd called to her family to say that she would be home in ten minutes, but she never arrived.  Her car was found this afternoon - several miles away, off the road, 10 feet under the cold waters of a flooded field.

An incident command center was set up in the Mooreton community hall (which still smelled faintly of last night's community fish fry...)  The room was filled with the earth toned green, and blue, and brown uniforms of the various agencies.  The colors of the room were brightened by the red and white jackets and vests of The Salvation Army's Emergency Disaster Service (EDS) team.

And in the same way, the somber faces of the uniformed men and women were brightened by the appearance of sandwiches, bottles of water, and urns of hot coffee.  "You just don't know how good it is to see you guys here," said one member of the U.S. Border Patrol who hails from Whitefish, Montana.  "I don't know if anyone else has told you this, but is so good for us to have you here."