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Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Dr. Tarrec’s Free Weekly Horoscope #18

Aries – The Analytical Mechanics, (those of German School, anyway) have adjusted the figures and recalculated their projections. According to the new charts, NOW is the time to “come up hither.” They said that you would know what this means.

Taurus – Clever lawyers may twist things around so that the truth of my words is circumvented, but seven disarticulated human feet have washed ashore in British Columbia. The lesson of such practical political action should be obvious, even to such cretins among the legal profession.

Gemini – The magnetic housings have failed. Micro-singularities and electrostatic vibrations are seeping through the breech. An electron injection into the manifold may alter the universal mass enough to effect the Cesium Clock. If not, the guilty party will accuse someone else of it all.

Cancer – The Sea of Trees is full of ice, ice and fog, ice and fog and the bodies of those who have taken their own lives.

Leo – In 1997 the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) detected and recorded an extremely powerful sound. Though it was not reported to the press, the sound was traced to a remote location in the south Pacific, off the coast of South America, just as H.P. Lovecraft said it would be.

Virgo – If you can replace another four to five hundred of your opponents with pro-family activist clones during the next lunar cycle-and every year following-then the European-Mediterranean Empire and its supreme dictator, the AntiChrist, will come to power.

Libra – It’s true. It’s all true, and you’ve always known it. Cats DO use a form of mind control to get what they want. They are capable of sending bioelectric signals through the anarchic ether to compel you to do their bidding. You know it to be true. They know that you know it to be true, and they are unconcerned.

Scorpio – There are skeletons moving in the dark; nightmare corpses in motion, threatening our elected officials. For the life of me I cannot see this as cause for an ethical dilemma. 

Sagittarius – Few scientific reports are ever published about the slimy mass that covers the lakes and streams of West Virginia. The evidence (what little there is) is removed or destroyed before reputable scientific investigators have a chance to study the ooze. And just who is responsible for this? Who has covered up the truth, and blinded us to what is really going on? It is none other than the prime-movers behind the globalist dream, the very ones who have divided the world into ten spheres: The Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Bilderbergers, and the Club of Rome.

Though we can only speculate about the origin of this mysterious mucus, I am convinced that it is an extra-dimensional intrusion into this world. For the love of God, man, don’t eat it!

Capricorn – In recent years our shock and horror at dry wit and ghost stories has given way to a new complacency. We read about phantom ships and lost children, and remain casually unstirred. We are not haunted as our ancestors were, but we are not safe. New spectral creatures will pierce through our incredulity.

Aquarius – Immanuel Velikovsky saw worlds in collision; he was witness to the accident. Herodotus, the 5th century B.C. Greek philosopher, too, saw the whole thing. But no one reads their works in these days.  This is the great shame of our generation. 

Pieces – You should be seeing black triangles of various shapes and sizes hovering motionlessly, noiselessly in the air above you. Consult your optometrist if you are not. 

Damndest Prayer I’ve Ever Heard

Four year old Abigail, freshly bathed, towel dried, hair and teeth brushed and now dressed in her favorite pink kitten pajamas sat bouncing on the corner of her bed.  “Are you ready to say your prayers?” her grandfather asked. 

“Yep,” Abigail giggled and bounced a little more.

“I mean it, Abby.  You say your prayers and it’s time for bed.  No more play time.” She grinned and continued to bounce on the mattress. “All right then,” said Grandfather, “let’s get to it.”

The bouncing stopped; the grin disappeared.  Abigail closed her eyes and solemnly said her prayer:  “Dear God, I love Mommy.  I love Daddy.  I love Grandpa and Mammie.  I love Buster-dog.  I love Ms. Kirk and my school.  Amen.”

Grandfather-who hadn’t closed his eyes during this brief litany- looked at her suspiciously.  “That’s nice, Abby, but say your prayers so you can go to bed.”

Abigail looked confused. “I did say prayers.”

Exasperated now, Grandfather stood up.  “Fine. Fine.  It’s time for little girls to be in bed and sleeping.”  He tucked her under the covers, retrieved her plush bird (named Dinkins) from the floor and kissed her on the forehead. “Go to sleep, little girl.”

He turned off the overhead light, turned on the small nightlight and closed the door.  In the darkness of the hallway he stood for a moment and said, “Damndest prayer I’ve ever heard…” and then went downstairs to watch the news. 

Blue Glass (Abstract Photography)

Tuesday, May 26, 2015


This Iris was growing up in the back yard.

And, while we're on the subject of Iris - you should pick up a copy of my friend, Kyle's, new comic book Iris.

IRIS BRECKENRIDGE, gold medal Winter Olympic athlete, has met an early and tragic end. A science and technology firm, BIOSTRONOMY, resurrects her by filling her body with nanobots—tiny microscopic robots repairing and replacing every broken and damaged cell in her body. These nanobots also have a knack for making her stronger than ever—more powerful every day. IRIS now faces an uncertain future. Given a second chance at life she never thought she would need, IRIS faces a world convinced her body is a piece of technology BIOSTRONOMY believes they own. IRIS searches for meaning and uses for her growing physical strength, encountering difficult questions of faith along the way. She is a woman once dead, but alive again—however unnaturally. What debt does she owe and to whom? And what of her soul?

Blue Water Lily Extract (A Note from Dr. Tarrec)

My friend Dr. Tarrec left the following note for me today:

My Dear Jefry,
This came for me, but I am highly allergic to all forms of Lily extract.  Perhaps you would be interested?

P.L. Tarrec

Dear Valued Customer,

Your free shipment of liquid Blue Water Lily extract is waiting for you.  It is a bitter thought to think that you may be letting this experience pass you.  The Egyptian Lotus is more than a party flower.  It can reveal the coded messages of your subconscious mind.  It can brighten your breath. The mild psychoactive properties of this spiritual flower are especially reactive to sensitive people such as yourself. You don’t want to close your eyes to this very special offer.

Or perhaps you are waiting to hear the sophisticated call of Viper’s Bugloss – the cerulean blue song that can relieve a variety of human health problems.  Discriminating customers know that this flower is highly praised by the  Asû. This evening primrose is swell, but you must call. And call soon, before the blood thins and ambitious dreams are lost in the ticking clock.

Are you really willing to risk the horrors that follow driving on a toll road?  Are you wearing a green dress? Are you still hunched over the counter? 

This invoice has been sent repeatedly. But you still have not responded. Please service your debt in the shortest possible time. Time is acute.

God’s will is in your life. The invoice can be downloaded here.
The views, comments, statements and opinions expressed on this Web site do not necessarily represent the official position of The Salvation Army.


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