Aries- There are electricity consuming bacteria living in your brain. They feed on the electrical discharges of your neurons and produce a complex system of bio-chemical feedback loops. This is the cause of your recent hallucinations and visions. Stimulate these bacteria with more focused thinking for an enhanced visionary experience.
Taurus – The Tarsus club has rejected your application for membership. However, you may refile in six months.
Gemini – A 262 foot crater has opened in Siberia. This is where the alien ships responsible for the Tunguska blast of 1909 were held for over a hundred years. They have been moved to another, more remote location. A similar cross dimensional cross rip cannot be more than a few weeks away. Be prepared.
Cancer - You are causing a disturbance. Remember your place. Do not get out of line again.
Leo- You must perform the ancient rituals. Hunt and kill the bear before the market collapses. Mithras is waiting, but even the unconquered sun has limited patience. A handshake will not save you this time.
Virgo – Sixty-seven giant snails will seize control of LAX later this month. Adjust your travel plans accordingly.
Libra – The masters are controlling you. The pattern is there; the dots have been connected. This cannot be disproved.
Scorpio- Where will you be when the clock strikes twelve midnight? Still wandering in the dark of abandoned churchyards? Alone except for the moonlight? Or will you step through the curtains? If you are nervous perhaps you should go home.
Sagittarius – The Council of Eight working in secret with the European Academy of Alchemists in Society and the British East India Company, are the true authors of the New World Order. They have many secrets to protect and little treasure that they are willing to share.
Capricorn- The Ravens have gathered as one family. They have sworn an oath. They have been
welcomed by the Elders. But you were not
invited. They will strike at you should
you try to infiltrate their secret meetings.
Aquarius – I have identified the type of Chemtrail being sprayed over your neighborhood. It is a rare, and strange variety, one that I have not seen used elsewhere. Though I have read reports of its use in Belgium, I was unaware that the USAF had begun using it here. The chemtrails sprayed above your neighborhood are composed of Wöhler processed Aluminum ions and psioni-phosphates. Both of these chemicals are used in chemical mind control programs. You should remain indoors until the contrails are discontinued. If you absolutely must go out of the house, cover your cranium with thin aluminum sheeting. This will minimize the deleterious effects of the chemtrails.
Pisces – The conclave is dissolved like cocaine in the rain. The Black Death has purged us all. Phillip IV is lying undone in his own blood, but there was no one to hear his confession.
Aquarius – I have identified the type of Chemtrail being sprayed over your neighborhood. It is a rare, and strange variety, one that I have not seen used elsewhere. Though I have read reports of its use in Belgium, I was unaware that the USAF had begun using it here. The chemtrails sprayed above your neighborhood are composed of Wöhler processed Aluminum ions and psioni-phosphates. Both of these chemicals are used in chemical mind control programs. You should remain indoors until the contrails are discontinued. If you absolutely must go out of the house, cover your cranium with thin aluminum sheeting. This will minimize the deleterious effects of the chemtrails.
Pisces – The conclave is dissolved like cocaine in the rain. The Black Death has purged us all. Phillip IV is lying undone in his own blood, but there was no one to hear his confession.
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