Dr. Tarrec’s Free Weekly Horoscope #11

Aries – There will be a doll on the doorstep.  There will be a doll left on the doorstep that looks like you.  The doll on the doorstep has a message for you.  Do not allow the police to become involved.

Taurus – A tunnel, a river, a door.  Cross them. But beware of oxygen deprivation and hallucinogenic trance.

Gemini – A swarm of newly hatched mayflies is heading your way – a swarm large enough to be visible from space.  But be calm.  This is healthy.

Cancer – You have many small white pearls growing inside your mouth: Odontoma. 

Leo – Even if there have been no “legitimate sightings” there are snakes in the playground and in the lake.  Trust me. I’ve seen them.

Virgo – The crater was opened in secret 40 years ago.  What they found was fiery doorway to hell.  It is burning still.

Libra – You may have been hearing voices all these years, but self-mutilation will not help. 

Scorpio – Alive he went into the well, ignorant of blood and death, but the king is betrayed and disrobed in the kitchen.

Sagittarius – The old man is an idiot; his children are frustrated.  But only for a time. Only for a time…

Capricorn – Have you located the missing eight prisoners yet? The warden will be calling soon!

Aquarius – Volcano day at Pompeii came too early.  The entire chronology was thrown off.  Events must be rescheduled in order to prevent further catastrophe.  

Pisces – It was a brilliant piece of politics to cover the city with quicklime, but will it achieve the desired results?