I Could Never Be Elected

It’s a good thing that I have no political ambition because I could never be elected.  Given the highly polarized and emotionally charged atmosphere of our political landscape there is no way I could be voted into public office – and, if by some magnificent fluke, I were, there would be no way I’d be allowed to get anything done.  I would be blocked, and attacked at every turn. 

I could never be elected because:

I embrace the term socialist.  I have no problem with that label. I wear it with pride.  (I suppose I could be elected mayor of Milwaukee.  They’ve had three socialist mayors…) I believe in a “redistribution of wealth” – but so do capitalists, they just prefer to see it moving in the other direction.

I don’t do patriotism.  I don’t wear a flag pin.  I don’t sing the national anthem.  I don’t salute the flag.  I don’t say the pledge of allegiance.

I’m a pacifist.  I would refuse to endorse military solutions to political problems. I would seek to defund the military as much as possible. I would completely curtail the use of attack drones. I would seek to eliminate our stockpile of nuclear weapons. And what is more, I would permit American military war leaders to be investigated by the International Criminal Court for war crimes.

I would hobble the CIA and the NSA. (The FBI is slightly more legitimate, but they’d face scrutiny and restrictions too.)

My sympathies lie with the Palestinians and not with Israel.  I have been known to wear a keffiyeh. 

I would push for a stronger EPA, more use of solar and wind power over coal and oil, and would refuse to consider drilling for oil in federally protected lands.

Gun control? You bet.  Assault weapons would be in my sights.  In fact I’d call into question anything more than legitimate hunting rifles and small caliber hand guns.

This list could go on, but it should already be clear: I could never be elected to public office. If President Obama is a “radical” then FOXNews would have to create a whole new category and a whole new vocabulary to castigate me.