I Am

I am a faded cardboard sign – illegible in the rain.
I am a sailor lost at sea.
I am blue raspberry marketing – unreal.
I am a forgone conclusion,
    a smile in the dark, an unfinished melody.
I am the memory of a dying dog.
I am a hesitation mark.
I am standing in the rain again,
    the looming threat of war, mushrooms on a fallen log.
I am an unfamiliar dog in the neighbor’s yard.
I am an owl in the sanctuary.
I am unlike myself, as far as I can remember,
    but I am becoming true.
I am an abandoned car at the side of the road.
I am rabbit trail digressions into nonsense,
    an absurdist defeatism.
I am stomach pains and vertigo in an airport terminal.
I am a halfhearted Baphomet.
I am slowing down, full stop.
I am not especially well written,
    clumsy but earnest.
I am helpless and I don’t know what to do
    except to say that there’s nothing I can do.