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Sunday, May 8, 2011

In the Beginning Was the Word: The Apocalyptic Writings of Saints John, Paul, George and Ringo

I originally wrote this for the now-defunct Wittenburg Door Magazine; it appeared in Issue 210, March / April 2007.

In the Beginning Was the Word: The Apocalyptic Writings of Saints John, Paul, George and Ringo

Say the word and you'll be free,
say the word and be like me.
Say the word I'm thinking of,
have you heard the word is "love"?

"The Word" 1: 1 - 2

The words of the four apostles of the modern age (Saints John, Paul, George, and Ringo) have much to teach us about the various aspects of theology and worship, but the purpose of this paper will be to explore the eschatological teachings of the Beatle community of believers.

Skeptics who reject the teachings of the Beatles, of course, point to the failure of Charles Manson  - who wrongly interpreted the writings of the Fab Four Apostles.  He believed that a "race war" was imminent and that it was incumbent upon him and his followers to initiate the coming of this "helter skelter" Armageddon.  While we recognize that Manson's interpretations were heretically unorthodox, we still maintain that the writings of the Apostolic Beatles are the result of divine inspiration and that they reveal God's plan for the future of our world.

A Christophany

Just as Saint John's Revelation on Patmos began with a vision of the risen King of Heaven described in apocalyptic fashion so, too, does an exploration of the Beatles' Revelation begin with an apocalyptic vision of the returning Christ.  In true apocalyptic form this vision of Jesus is loaded with difficult images:

He wear no shoe-shine, he got toe jam football
He got monkey-finger, he shoot Coca-cola
He say, "I know you, you know me"
One thing I can tell you is you've got to be free.

He bag production, he got walrus gumboot,
He got ono sideboard, he's one spinal cracker
He's got feet down below his knees
Hold you in his arms, you can feel his disease.

He roller coaster, he got early warning
He got "Muddy Water," he one Mojo filter
He say, "One and One and One is Three"
Got to be good looking 'cause he's so hard to see.

"Come Together" 1:1 - 3:4

The Beatles describe the Lord as one who knows us, desires for us to be free, and calls us to "Come together, right now, over me."  Who else could be described in such terms?  Only the Risen King who appeared to the disciples in the middle of a locked room, and who could disappear from their sight; he is the one who is "so hard to see."

There is also the obvious reference to his participation in the Trinity: "One and One and One is Three." Believers are to maintain an anxious expectation and to be continually looking for the Lord precisely because he is "so hard to see." But see him we will - and soon - at his return.

The Second Coming

The second coming of the One wearing "no shoe-shine" is described in the Psalm of John and Yoko (1) :

Made a lightning trip to Vienna, eating choc'late cake in a bag ...
Caught the early plane back to London, fifty acorns tied in a sack
The men from the press said we wish you success
It's good to have the both of you back.

Christ! You know it ain't easy,
You know how hard it can bee,
The way things are going
They're going to crucify me.

"The Psalm of John and Yoko" 4: 1 - 5

These lines confirm that the Lord's return will be as a "lightning trip" from east to west (Vienna to London) just as Matthew recorded in his gospel (Matt. 24:27).  Indeed, it will be "good"  to have him "back." The "fifty acorns tied in a sack" are, of course, the reward that he brings with him for the faithful (Rev. 22:12).

The time shortly before his coming will be one of trouble and trial; it will be the birth pangs of the end.  Christ knows that it will not be easy for Christians.  They will be handed over  to be tortured and put to death (Matt. 24:9) even "crucified." But anyone who stands firm to the end will be saved.

Well, will you, won't you want me to make you?
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you.
Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer,
You may be a lover, but you ain't no dancer.

"The Letter of Helter Skelter" 3:3

The return of one with "feet down below his knees" - a reference to the "feet of burnished bronze" as seen by Saint John (Rev. 1:15) - is nearer each day.  As He told His disciples, He was coming soon - "coming down fast."  We may not know when, but when He does come it will be quickly.  His return will be a comfort for the faithful, but a terror for those who have rejected him.  He urges them to no let Him "break" them with his "spinal crackin'" at his return.

The Rapture

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
"I am the Walrus" 1:1

Those who have accepted Jesus as their "Walrus" (the two tusks of the Walrus are akin to the horns of the Lamb in Revelation 5) will be united with the Lord at his coming - "we are all together."  We will be one with Him as He is one with the Father.

The repeated use of the "I Am" phrase in this letter should immediately draw us to the fact that it is the Lord Jesus Christ who is speaking.  He says "I Am the Walrus."  and "I  Am the egg-man" - a reference to Easter and his resurrection.  He alone can speak the words "goo, goo, g'joob." (Walrus 5:12) - a voice calling the dead from their graves, and calling those who remain up into the sky with Him.  The purpose of his coming is to bring us where He is. " Come together...over me." he says to us - be together with Me and my Father in Heaven.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Taken these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life , you were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly, into the light of a dark back night.

"Blackbird" 1: 1 - 9

The Blackbird Epistle contains a wonderful description of the rapture, the glorious hope of all believers.  Christians throughout the centuries have been "waiting" all their lives for this moment.  They will take their "broken wings and learn to fly" with their Savior through the darkness, and into the eternal light of God's presence.

We cannot know the exact time or day when our Walrus will return to take us but we can know that it will be on a "Tuesday" that the heavenly "van" will come to rapture us away.  the Walrus Epistle says:

Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come,
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you let you been a naughty boy; you let your face grow long.

"I Am the Walrus" 3:15

This "stupid bloody Tuesday" refers to the chaos unleashed upon the earth as millions of believers , children and infants, suddenly and without warning, disappear  Further evidence of the Tuesday Rapture is found in another of the Apostolic Beatles writings:

Tuesday afternoon is never ending,
Wednesday morning papers didn't come
Thursday night your stockings needed mending
See how they run.

"A Vision of the Lady Madonna" 4:17 - 18

The Rapture on Tuesday - a Tuesday that will seem to last forever to those who are left behind - will lead to a catastrophic disruption of normal human affairs.  Unoccupied cars will swerve off the highway, planes will plummet from the sky, and daily newspapers will not be delivered as the result of the sudden disappearance of all believers.  The chaos will continue for many days resulting in the need for many things to be "mended."  People will "run" in terror and fear.

The Rise of the Antichrist

After the Rapture of the saints, the world will fall into a time of deep despair.  World leaders will be anxious for answers but none will be forthcoming.  Instead of looking to the Bible for answers, however, the people of the world will be lead into satanic spiritualism.

At 12 o'clock a meeting 'roudn the table for a seance in the dark,
With voices out of nowhere put on specially by the children for a lark.

"Cry, Baby, Cry"  - A Lament 3: 1 - 4

As conditions worsen, Russia will attempt an invasion of Israel.  Gog and Magog are "Back in the U.S.S.R."  the collapse of communism in the 1990's was not the end of the bear from the north.  this invasion will not result in a victory for Russia.  Instead, a new world leader will arise to make peace between the nations.  This is the Antichrist.  His name is Maxwell.

Maxwell the Antichrist will make peace between the nations of the world, but he will persecute the people of God.  using his "silver hammer" he will strike a killing blow upon the heads of the tribulation saints (Rev. 20:4).  It should not come as a surprise that when translated into Finnish, the name Maxwell contains the numerical value of 666.

Bang! Bang! Maxwell's silver hammer came down on his head.
Bang! Bang! Maxwell's sliver hammer made sure that he was dead.

"Maxwell's Silver Hammer" 3:3

Much more could be said of the Apostolic Beatles writings about the Whore of Babylon:

She thinks of him and so she dresses in black,
And though he'll never come back she's dressed in black.
O, how long will it take till she sees  the mistakes she has made?

"Baby's in Black" (Sackcloth) 1: 2 -5

The "Baby" is none other than a reconstructed "Baby"lon, home of the one world religion and one world government.  She is also described in the brief writing "Her Majesty" as "a pretty nice girl" who "changes from day to day," indicating her fickleness and her unfaithfulness.  The Antichrist's control over the nations of the world through this "baby" in black will bring about peace - but it will be a false peace.

Let me tell you now, everybody's talking 'bout
Revolutions, evolutions, mastication, flagellation
Regulations, integrations, meditation, United Nations
Congratulations...
All we are saying is give peace a chance.
All we are saying is give peace a chance.

"Give Peace a Chance" 3:1 - 5

But while they are saying peace and safety these "ministers, sinisters, banisters, and canisters, Bishops, fishops, rabbits and Popeyes ("Give Peace a Chance" 2: 1 - 4) will be dragging the people of the world closer and closer to the final battle; Armageddon, the final "bye-bye, bye-bye."

The hope of all believers is in the soon coming of our Lord and Walrus, Jesus Christ. Come quickly. Amen.

It won't be long, yeah, yeah.
It won't be long, yeah, yeah
'til I belong to you.

"It Won't be Long" 1:1


(1) Some manuscripts are titled "The Ballad of John and Yoko," but these are fragmentary.

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