It was 1870 or 1871-I don’t rightly recall- that I
first began noticing, under the darkened moon, that, without much in the way of
untoward ostentation, the U.S. began to surpass the failing Flemish
Empire. President Grant, favoring a gold
based alchemical policy paid off the entire national debt with gold he’d
transmuted from base elements. The
Red-tapeworms nearly swallowed themselves before the anchovies arrived. President Grant ignored the ravings of those
who fretted about the apocalyptic famines in the western states, and the coming
of the miserable AntiChrist.
Financial manipulators set up an elaborate con, (known
colloquially as “the Dutch Royalty”) to recapture the gold market. Their scam was built upon an intricate system
of seven year cycles. Their deviousness-heartless
and bureaucratic-caused divorce and deportation all across the nation, and the financial
sector was wiped clean. The mystery was
explained to the public in words of one syllable or less.
The stars were lowered; they slept in
sedition. The earliest editions of daily
newspapers described two behemoths that were delivered in the night, a blessed
event, if ever there was one. But it all happened without prior information, without
warning, and without formal charges. The
Last Revelation was unlocked. The
mystical chains were broken.
Worms vied for place with fools in the seats of
power. Civilian reporters were jailed in
Toledo. Travel restrictions were
rigorously enforced with military protocols. From Portland, Oregon and Tacoma, Washington came word that the
elections were being undermined by scandal. Operatic reconstructions collapsed. Louisiana was divided with rancor and hostility, riots in the bayou. Peter the Hermit staggered further afield
than predicted. Notker the Stammerer
ascended to the highest office in the land. San Francisco was purchased by
ambassadors from Holland, and there wasn’t one thing that we could do about it.
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