Does It Matter How the Preacher Dresses? No.

Recently an opinion article from Churchleaders.com was shared with me and some of my friends and colleagues; we were asked to share our thoughts about it. So I did, briefly. But I thought I might expand upon my thoughts for a wider audience here in the blog.

In the article “Does It Matter How the Preacher Dresses?” Joe McKeever encourages pastors to “turn up the dial a notch” and not be sloppy in their dress. For McKeever this seems to mean wearing a suit and tie – the accoutrement de rigueur for ministers (Protestant ministers, anyway. McKeever’s post says nothing of those pastors whose traditions would see them dressed in an alb, chasuble, or phelonion…)[i]. Ministers, according to McKeever, should dress up to “inspire confidence” in their congregations.

“It’s time for the preachers to look and act like the adults in the room.” McKeever says. “Quit following the kids and start showing them proper respect for the Lord’s house, the Lord’s service and the worship of the Lord.” Ministers have to look respectable and show “proper respect for the Lord’s house” or else be condemned and despised in the hearts of people like McKeever and David’s wife, Michal. (2 Samuel 6:16)

But I’m not terribly impressed by McKeever’s article. The whole dressing up, suit and tie thing doesn’t impress me the way it seems to impress him. The whole argument reminds me of the controversy over beards within Christian history. Clement of Alexandria called the beard "the mark of a man," and said, "it is therefore unholy to desecrate the symbol of manhood." But the Council of Aachen in AD 816 required monks to shave every 15 days. Both beards and beardlessness were held up by various factions as the mark of Christian respectability. Who was right? Depends who you ask, I guess.

I’m also not impressed by McKeever’s argument that dressing up (in a suit coat and tie) inspires confidence so it must be a good thing. “It’s why the presidential candidates are wearing suits and white shirts and ties. … Inspiring confidence,” he says, but we know how much respect and confidence politicians inspire in us these days, right? Besides: crooks, con artists, and used car salesmen dress up in a suit and tie for exactly the same reason. Hitler wore a suit and a tie, too. So what? Good people dress up and look nice. Terrible people dress up and look nice. The suit and the tie is not a mark of respectability. Looking good does not mean being good.

I’m guessing that the itinerant preacher, Jesus of Nazareth, who-unlike the fox with his den and the bird with her nest-had no place to lay his head (Luke 9:58) probably looked a lot like the “hitchhiker just in from a day on the highway” that McKeever sneers at in his article. In fact, Jesus probably had no beauty or majesty to attract us…nothing in his appearance that we should be inspired by him. (Isaiah 53: 2) Yet he inspired the people to follow him. Not because he looked like he had authority, but because he taught with authority. (Matthew 7:29)

I’m not especially inspired by suits and ties (or by the Salvation Army uniform, for that matter, even if it is the accoutrement de rigueur of my particular denomination). I’m inspired to confidence by people who prove to be honest and caring. One of the most influential ministers in my life wore polo-shirts, shorts, and black socks and sandals – not an outfit to inspire confidence… But I trusted that man more than most; I trusted him because he was good man-not because he looked like a good man.

---

[i] His article also seems to be geared exclusively to male ministers since he never mentions skirts, dresses, or pant-suits…)

Revelation Story Problems

QUESTIONS

 1) John has a vision of a seven-horned, seven-eyed Lamb. This Lamb breaks the seals of a large scroll; immediately John sees a rider on a white horse with a crown and a bow, a red horse whose rider carried a large sword for war, a black horse whose rider carried a pair of scales, and a rider on a pale green horse-who was death. How many horses does John have?  (Revelation 6: 1 – 8)

2) John hears the number of those who are marked on their foreheads with the seal of God- they are: 12,000 from the tribe of Judah, 12,000 from the tribe of Reuben, 12,000 from the tribe of Gad, 12,000 from the tribe of Asher, 12,000 from the tribe of Naphtali, 12,000 from the tribe of Manasseh, 12,000 from the tribe of Simeon, 12,000 from the tribe of Levi, 12,000 from the tribe of Issachar, 12,000 from the tribe of Zebulun, 12,000 from the tribe of Joseph, and 12,000 from the tribe of Benjamin. How many does John see sealed? (Revelation 7: 3 – 8)

3) John was given a measuring reed and told to measure God’s sanctuary, but to exclude the outer court. Assuming this is Herod’s temple in Jerusalem, what measurements does John record? (Revelation 11: 1 – 2)

4) John sees a beast emerging from the land with two horns like a lamb, but sounding like a dragon. John is shrewd and can calculate the beast’s name, the beast’s human name. If the number of the beast is 666 what is his human name? If the number of the beast is 616 what is his human name?  (Revelation 13: 11 – 18)

ANSWERS

1) Zero. John has a vision.

2) Unknown. He sees a huge number, impossible for anyone to count. (Revelation 7:9)

3) John does not record any measurements.

4) 666 = Nero  616 = Nero

Mathematician Jesus

The Gall Adder

The Gall Adder (proverbial for his bitterness and impudent behavior) has made another small protest. He does this because he thinks he is not a yellow-bile coward. But this is unacceptable. This is risk. This is the way that fifth column liberalists have gained their power, the power of the bladder and the pancreatic juice.

The acceptance of Stone-cut homosexuals in the military was, from the outset, the agenda of a wider body. (Though the Gall Adder is only 6 feet long, he has a surprisingly long reach). Now he wants to spread the films of a gay, Marxist, atheist. He produces only depression and aggression within himself; he spreads this to others around him via long hinged fangs which he keeps hidden behind his thin lipped smile.

Our repeated warnings have had little to no effect; few realize just how dangerous the Gall Adder really is. He refuses to see how dangerous he is to himself. He is the one behind the stomach pains that afflict our hidden god, with his gastric juice and poisonous food.

But he will be broken and ground into fine particles. His muscles will not be rebuilt, now or in the future. We can be almost certain about this. We would not expect anything less. The doctrines of the Gall Adder are inimical to our self-esteem, to what we think of ourselves and our institution, to our institution and our aspirations to delusional grandeur.

Receive this blood filled secret: He is an abnormal growth, a tumor, a wart. He is a live-birth viper.

Sadly, we have already come a long way down for this half made man. His intestines are coiled up in such a small space that even careful Bible students (who only read from the uncontroversial texts) cannot see him. Prophetically speaking, there can be no question of his disturbance and nuisance.

Finding him and destroying him is the vision that guides us, the vision that sharpens our teeth and strengthens our bones.

Clam Chowder for Brains (A Limerick)

What he says, my credulity strains;
I’d say he’s got clam chowder for brains,
but I am told that seafood
is, for the brain’s health, good-
even so, the chowder-head remains.