A Great Big "SCREW YOU" from Scientology

The auditorium was filled with excited and exuberant Scientologists dressed to the nines for this event – the OT (Operating Thetan) Summit 2007. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley – all the stars were there of course. The Stage was set with elaborate props – including a large portrait of LRH himself, staring beatifically out over the crowd; a slick multi-media presentation had been prepared, complete with humorous computer animations. It was a big deal.

Current leader of the Church of Scientology, David Miscavige, strode to the pulpit at center stage and began his address concerning “lost tech” and “the golden age of knowledge.”

I'll summarize the three hour video for you, but you can watch it yourself if you like.

Has Dianetics / Scientology not really worked for you?

Have you had trouble understanding the books and materials?

Well you have to have read them in the proper order. You have to have read them in the exact order that they were written. That’s the only way to understand them. And you have to have attended all the lectures that LRH gave. If you didn’t hear the lectures you won’t be able to understand the later material.

But even if you had read all the books in the proper order, and you had attended all the lectures, you would still not be able to understand LRH’s books because of the thousands upon thousands of errors made by the transcribers who typed LRH’s dictated books and the editors who put them together.

These brain dead idiots and miscreants should be strapped to a volcano and blown up with an H-bomb for what they did to poor LRH’s books. It’s unforgivable.

But now we’ve fixed all those thousands of mistakes and restored LRH’s books to the purity with which he spoke them.

And we offer to you, our faithful Scientologists, this great big SCREW YOU. You’ve sunk thousands and thousands of dollars into this material and you’re going to have to buy it all anew if you want to ever get to clear / OT VIII.

The audience stands and applauds. They cheer. Miscavige exits the stage with a smile and a wave.