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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

When I Am King of the World

When I am King of the World, with all the rights and powers of that office, Christmas will be an “every other year holiday.”  I hate Christmas, would ban it outright, but, benevolent ruler that I am, will make allowance for the foibles of my subjects and allow them to celebrate it on alternating years.

I hate seeing Christmas trees and decorations in stores as early as August.  I hate seeing Christmas lights and wreaths before Halloween, or hearing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.  Let’s have one holiday at a time, please.  And, if I am completely honest, I don’t really like hearing or singing Christmas songs before December 25th, that’s the season of Advent (but that’s a pretty fine liturgical calendar distinction that most people don’t even consider…)

Though I have slightly less antipathy towards Santa Clause and his elves and reindeer, I’d rather get back to authentic, historic Saint Nicolaus.  I don’t care for Frosty the Snowman or the Grinch Who Stole Christmas or the Heat Miser, or Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, or any of the other characters from all of those Christmas specials. They are irrelevant to me.

I cringe every time I hear about the economic stimulus of Christmas. This civil holiday of shopping and consumerism is less and less about the Christian celebration of the incarnation of Jesus, and more and more about economic stimulus and commercialism. Profits over prophets.

And I hate, hate, hate (with an unquenchable hatred) hearing people get all riled up about whether we should say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” when we’re still confusing the celebration of Christ’s birth with the celebration of that modern deity, the Economy.   So when I become King of the World, with all the rights and powers of that office, even though I know it will make many people upset,  Christmas will become an every other year holiday.




* I was going to wait and post this after Thanksgiving (one holiday at a time, and what not...) but my thrift store began putting out Christmas merchandise yesterday.  Sigh...

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