Dr. Tarrec’s Free Weekly Horoscope #12

Aries – There are angels on your doorstep, a rose in the river.  They are in lifted up into the wind, though they have no wings.

Taurus - Your sisters are calling.  They are whistling and wishing.  They wait for you to respond.

Gemini – The weather is warming and the wax is melting.  Your name is on the FBIs watch list. What will you do? 

Cancer –   The screaming in the closet started the moment you came into the house.  What have you done?  What have you done!?

Leo – The dolls at the table cannot eat the food you are serving.  But they don’t mind; they appreciate your hospitality.

Virgo – He has been bound for a thousand years, but the restraints will not hold him much longer.  Do not open the door.  Do not go into the basement.

Libra –Your theta waves are being broadcast from coast to coast and around the world.  It’s syndicated déjà vu from your amygdala.

Scorpio – The cat is depressed. Cut his claws before he cuts you in your sleep.

Sagittarius – Do you feel that you’re too old for dress up?  Remember. Your dreams are personal and important.  Do not neglect them.

Capricorn – Stolen cars and open doors.  There are patients missing – out the window and over the fence.

Aquarius – Reynolds! Reynolds!  We are on the line, 157337.  We will repeat…We will repeat this message on 6210 Kilocycles.

Pisces – Try Hypnosis.  Breathe deep.  Relax.  Can you see the corpse on the lawn?  Go further back.