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Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Blue Water Lily Extract (A Note from Dr. Tarrec)

My friend Dr. Tarrec left the following note for me today:

My Dear Jefry,
This came for me, but I am highly allergic to all forms of Lily extract.  Perhaps you would be interested?

P.L. Tarrec

Dear Valued Customer,

Your free shipment of liquid Blue Water Lily extract is waiting for you.  It is a bitter thought to think that you may be letting this experience pass you.  The Egyptian Lotus is more than a party flower.  It can reveal the coded messages of your subconscious mind.  It can brighten your breath. The mild psychoactive properties of this spiritual flower are especially reactive to sensitive people such as yourself. You don’t want to close your eyes to this very special offer.

Or perhaps you are waiting to hear the sophisticated call of Viper’s Bugloss – the cerulean blue song that can relieve a variety of human health problems.  Discriminating customers know that this flower is highly praised by the  Asû. This evening primrose is swell, but you must call. And call soon, before the blood thins and ambitious dreams are lost in the ticking clock.

Are you really willing to risk the horrors that follow driving on a toll road?  Are you wearing a green dress? Are you still hunched over the counter? 

This invoice has been sent repeatedly. But you still have not responded. Please service your debt in the shortest possible time. Time is acute.

God’s will is in your life. The invoice can be downloaded here.

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