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Monday, May 11, 2015

GOP Hopefuls Vie To See Who Will Lead Us to War the Soonest

Republican hopefuls spent the weekend trying to outdo one another in a bid to secure the GOP nomination for presidential candidate. 

“We know that America is strong” said Wisconsin governor Scott Walker.  “We know that we are the world’s single remaining superpower-but how can we prove it unless we have American soldiers involved in active military conflict?  I pledge to you that if I am elected president of these United States I will have American boots on the ground in Iran, or some other country in no less than six months after taking the oath of office.”

Not to be outdone, Former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum chimed in to say, “Yeah, but I think we can do better.  The United States is strong and fast.  We act quickly and decisively.  As president I won’t dilly-dally.  I’ll see that we’re invading somewhere within three months after I set foot in the Oval Office.”

Former Texas governor Rick Perry jumped up to the podium and interjected, “Terrorist armies must be defeated with strength not words.  Elect me and we’ll be at DEF CON ONE within six weeks!”

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Muted Hosannas Muted Hosannas
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