Dr. Tarrec’s Free Weekly Horoscope #18

Aries – The Analytical Mechanics, (those of German School, anyway) have adjusted the figures and recalculated their projections. According to the new charts, NOW is the time to “come up hither.” They said that you would know what this means.

Taurus – Clever lawyers may twist things around so that the truth of my words is circumvented, but seven disarticulated human feet have washed ashore in British Columbia. The lesson of such practical political action should be obvious, even to such cretins among the legal profession.

Gemini – The magnetic housings have failed. Micro-singularities and electrostatic vibrations are seeping through the breech. An electron injection into the manifold may alter the universal mass enough to effect the Cesium Clock. If not, the guilty party will accuse someone else of it all.

Cancer – The Sea of Trees is full of ice, ice and fog, ice and fog and the bodies of those who have taken their own lives.

Leo – In 1997 the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) detected and recorded an extremely powerful sound. Though it was not reported to the press, the sound was traced to a remote location in the south Pacific, off the coast of South America, just as H.P. Lovecraft said it would be.

Virgo – If you can replace another four to five hundred of your opponents with pro-family activist clones during the next lunar cycle-and every year following-then the European-Mediterranean Empire and its supreme dictator, the AntiChrist, will come to power.

Libra – It’s true. It’s all true, and you’ve always known it. Cats DO use a form of mind control to get what they want. They are capable of sending bioelectric signals through the anarchic ether to compel you to do their bidding. You know it to be true. They know that you know it to be true, and they are unconcerned.

Scorpio – There are skeletons moving in the dark; nightmare corpses in motion, threatening our elected officials. For the life of me I cannot see this as cause for an ethical dilemma. 

Sagittarius – Few scientific reports are ever published about the slimy mass that covers the lakes and streams of West Virginia. The evidence (what little there is) is removed or destroyed before reputable scientific investigators have a chance to study the ooze. And just who is responsible for this? Who has covered up the truth, and blinded us to what is really going on? It is none other than the prime-movers behind the globalist dream, the very ones who have divided the world into ten spheres: The Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Bilderbergers, and the Club of Rome.

Though we can only speculate about the origin of this mysterious mucus, I am convinced that it is an extra-dimensional intrusion into this world. For the love of God, man, don’t eat it!

Capricorn – In recent years our shock and horror at dry wit and ghost stories has given way to a new complacency. We read about phantom ships and lost children, and remain casually unstirred. We are not haunted as our ancestors were, but we are not safe. New spectral creatures will pierce through our incredulity.

Aquarius – Immanuel Velikovsky saw worlds in collision; he was witness to the accident. Herodotus, the 5^th century B.C. Greek philosopher, too, saw the whole thing. But no one reads their works in these days.  This is the great shame of our generation. 

Pisces – You should be seeing black triangles of various shapes and sizes hovering motionlessly, noiselessly in the air above you. Consult your optometrist if you are not.