Biblical Limericks: Ezra and the Department of Homeland Security

The priests of Israel had heaped up shames,
they’d wedded themselves to foreign dames.
Marrying foreign gals
so offended morals
that Ezra published all of their names.

Ezra 10

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 

Trump’s Surprising Plan to Govern by Biblical Mandate

Here’s a switch, something I never expected to see, something that still astounds and flabbergasts me. President Donald J. Trump and his administration have endorsed a bill  that takes seriously an important biblical command. I know. I’m surprised as you are.


But it’s true. It's true.

The bill, sponsored by Republican senators, proposes a “merit based” immigration system. Under this bill, immigration candidates would need 30 points in order to qualify to become American citizens. Points are given based on a priority that favors people between the ages of 26 and 30 and speak English fluently and who have won either an Olympic medal or a Nobel prize. But a further premium is given to those who are coming to this country with job offers with salaries over $77,000 and those who are planning to invest a million dollars or more in this country.

And this, as I said, is a practical way for the Trump administration to govern according to biblical principles  Deuteronomy 15: 4 says that “there should be no poor among you.” This proposed bill would go a long way to make sure that no more poor people are allowed to enter the country. And I should point out that it is a course of action that I proposed three years ago. (And And - this limerick will be included in my soon to be published book of biblical limericks. You should buy three or four copies of it when it's available...)

(And it should be remembered that Democrats have, in the recent past, endorsed a point based immigration policy of their own…)

The Blessing of Defeat

So the man who has wrestled all his life comes to his final battle at the Jabbok ford. He’s been wrestling all his life, since his birth, even before his birth. He tussled with his twin brother, Esau, within the womb, grasping his heel, still trying to win over him on the way out the birth canal. He strove with his brother for the birthright and the patriarchal blessing. He wrestled a stone away from the mouth of a well to impress his future bride. He contended again and again with his father-in-law.  And now comes the culmination of his life, the climactic, defining event. He wrestles with “a man” at the Jabbok ford.

But what kind of man is this? Jacob, the trickster, thief, deceiver encounters a stranger in the dark – a man without a name and without provenance; he grapples with the mysterious unknown in the dark of the night. And in that long battle neither opponent is able to toss or pin the other; they are unable to hold or throw the other down.

This man in the dark may be more than a man. There is something strange in this encounter. Is he some sort of night spirit or troll that will lose its power or be turned to stone at the breaking of dawn and the light of the sun? Is he an angel of the Lord or a demon from the desert? Is he, perhaps, even God himself?

Or is this man in the dark the embodiment of all Jacob’s guilt and fear – a psychic projection.  In this man that he cannot defeat, Jacob sees the face of those he has offended and wronged. He sees the face of God and his own face, and the face of his twin brother Esau.[1]

Jacob struggles on heroically determined, and stubbornly relentless.  He refuses to admit or accept defeat. But then, with a touch (and not a crushing blow), the slightest touch, the man from the dark blows Jacob’s hip out of joint. He is hobbled, wounded. The supplanter is supplanted. He falls – but even in this defeat he finds a victory of sorts. Even in defeat he demands a blessing.

All his life he’s wrestled for and demanded a blessing from others. Give me the birthright and patriarchal blessing. Give me a bride. Give me sheep, and goats, and camels. Give me a blessing! But what kind of blessing has he won here? The blessing of defeat and a limp to remind him of it. He is no longer Jacob, the deceiver, but Israel who has wrestled with gods and men and has won.

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[1] Compare Jacob’s words: in Genesis 32: 31 he says, “I have seen God face to face and I came out alive,” and in 33: 10 he says to Esau, “…for have I not seen your face as one might see God’s face, and you received me in kindness?” (Alter 183, 186)

Alter, Robert. Genesis: Translation and Commentary. New York, NY: W.W. Norton and Company, Inc. 1996. Print. 

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