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Showing posts with label Jack Van Impe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jack Van Impe. Show all posts

Saturday, May 21, 2016

I Would Beg Pardon, but from Whom? - New Music

I tangled the path and disrupted the plasma field line phenomenon. I fired the laser beam from orbit. I was undone by an erratic electron flow. I would beg pardon, but from whom?


I Would Beg Pardon, but from Whom? - Below are listed the various sounds I used from the Freesound Project:

01 – Autocephalous

02 – The Great Auk

03 – Corruption (Oh Boy)

Toy Glock 

04 – Gravitational Force, Emotional Impulse

05 – Other Angels

06 - Illegal Transmissions

07 –Dreamfree

08 – I Disappear

09 – I Would Beg Pardon, but from Whom?

Freedback 11 

10 – Chaos 7 Hazard 8

11  - Unpredictable Spotlights

12 – Theoretical Vexation





Monday, May 12, 2014

Ante-Nicene Fathers - Volume 2 – The Shepherd of Hermas

So I have this 10 volume collection of writings by the Ante-Nicene Fathers  (the Writings of the Fathers down to A.D. 325) that I’ve been carrying around with me for several years.  I bought them from a library that was about to discard them and over the years I have used them occasionally as I’ve studied and prepared for sermons.  A couple of years ago I finally challenged myself to actually read through them all.  I got through the first volume before we moved again, and so they went into boxes, were moved, were unpacked, and then placed on new shelves – and my challenge was, not quite forgotten, but put on hold. I’d lost my inertia. 

But now I’m back to it, starting into volume 2 with The Shepherd of Hermas (or, as this particular translation titles it The Pastor of Hermas – for the word “pastor” means “shepherd”…) It is a weird and interesting book, divided into three sections – 1) a series of 5 apocalyptic visions 2) a series of 12 commandments and 3) a collection of 10 Similitudes or ‘parables.’  The eponymous “Shepherd” (“Pastor”) is sent to Hermas by “a most venerable angel” to stay with him and instruct him.

Hermas frequently frustrates his shepherd with an overwhelming number of questions.  Repeatedly the Shepherd chides him and warns him about asking so many questions, but each time he relents and answers them for Hermas.

And what I find fascinating to think about is how close The Shepherd of Hermas came to being included in our collection of scripture.  The Muratorian fragment (~ 3rd century) – a copy of the oldest known list of the books of what is now called the New Testament – included The Shepherd.   It was one of the most popular Christian writings between the 2nd and 4th centuries - but, though popular and well received, not everyone accepted it as divinely inspired.  Origen described it as “a work which seems to me very useful, and, as I believe, divinely inspired.” (Comm. in Rom. 10.31, written about 244-6)  Tertullian rejected it with scorn as ‘apocryphal’. 

But by the time that the Canon (as we have it today) was being formulated, The Shepherd of Hermas had fallen out of favor somewhat.  The Church historian, Eusebius, listed three categories for Christian writings then in existence:  1) Those writings universally accepted without dispute 2) those that are disputed and 3) those writings that are ‘spurious.’   Eusebius put The Shepherd in the third group. Though it was widely read by Christians it failed to make the cut as scripture – probably because it has no clear connection to any of the apostles.

But how different might Christianity have been had it been included in the canon? Would children memorize its verses in Sunday School class?  Imagine the kids squirming at the front of the chapel as they recite together, “First of all, believe that there is one God who created and finished all things, and made all things out of nothing.”   Would it be included in the lectionary readings? Would preachers use it as the text for their sermons?  Imagine the pastor expounding upon these lines, “Fear the Lord, and keep His commandments.  For if you keep the commandments of God you will be powerful in every action, and every one of your actions will be incomparable.  For, fearing the Lord, you will do all things well.” Would the eschatological scaremongers like Jack Van Impe and John Hagee have used its description of the tribulations to come?  “But the sun now shone out a little, and lo! I see a mighty beast like a whale, and out of its mouth fiery locusts proceeded.  But the size of that beast was about a hundred feet, and it had a head like an urn.”

And how might our Christology have been affected?  The Shepherd of Hermas seems to have an “adoptionist” understanding of the divine nature of Jesus – that is, that he was given the preexistent Holy Spirit of God, and made co-heir with the Spirit, by God the Father because of his virtue and obedience. 




Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Shocking Signs of the End




I made this little bit of eschatological tom-foolery a couple of years ago.  I don't know why it never made it's way to this blog. Here is Jack Van Impe with Shocking Signs of the End.  Feel free to download it if it tickles your fancy.


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Eschatonophobia


It's the fear of the end times, a phobia of the last days, an irrational terror of the end of the world. It's also paranoia and conspiracy theories and crackpot interpretation of biblical myths and legends. It's Eschatonophobia.



It's a completely free download.  So, why not?  Tell a friend.  Share the link.  Pass it on - there's enough crazy here for everyone.

Tracks #1 and #3 were previously published on this blog.   Those posts have been updated...

Track Information and Credits:
01 John Hagee Describes the Naked Merciless Power of the Illuminati
 “Beneath the Planet of the Apes”

02 Jack Van Impe Has 10,853 Verses to Prove His Point
 “Pump Up the Volume”

03 The Computer Is the Image of the Beast
“Image of the Beast”

04 Perry Stone Makes it Clear that Demons are the Spirits of Giants
Sinus 0001 
 “Reading that Science Fiction Garbage” - ?
“Get off my phone” Glenn Beck
“Planet of the Apes”
“12 Angry Men”
"Barbarella"

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Radio Telescope Records Cries of the Damned




Recently, astronomers at the Mt. Rumi Science Learn-a-torium released recordings made by deep space radio telescopes that pin point the location of hell.  The recordings were made during a series of observations of a black hole in the Virgo galaxy.  Black holes are incredibly massive objects in space that create gravitational fields so powerful that space itself is curved around them.  Stars, planets, even light itself is ‘sucked’ into these black holes.  And, as recently revealed, so are the souls of the damned.

In these recordings on can clear hear the sound of shrieking and crying souls.  “Their cries are pitiful,” said Dr. Drusba, chief of stuff at the Learn-a-torium.  “If you listen carefully you can even hear what sounds like teeth grinding,” he added.

Prominent theologian Dr. Jack Van Impe believes this is vindication of the Biblical doctrine of Hell.  “Now, this black hole, it sucks in all light and all energy so that it is totally black.  This one has sucked up two billion, three hundred million suns plus millions of dwarf stars – and dwarf stars never loose their heat; it goes on forever and ever.  And these dwarf stars make the heat inside these black holes twenty-five million to thirty million degrees Fahrenheit.

“Consider this and then quit saying there couldn’t be a hell.  Twenty-five to thirty million degrees Fahrenheit!  Now this is interesting because Jesus mentioned a place of ‘outer darkness in Matthew 8:12, and Matthew 25:30 and Jude verse 13 also calls it the ‘blackness of darkness forever.’  Think about it.”[i]

Steven Hawking was unavailable for comment.


[i] These are Van Impe’s actual words – April 9, 2005 – 

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