Hymnical Limericks: All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name

I thought the limericks were done, but apparently I was wrong.
I'm so sorry.

All hail the pow’r of his name in song;
take note of heaven’s angelic throng -
they respond to the call
and angels’ prostates fall.
No, wait. I’m sure I’ve gotten that wrong...

with apologies to Edward Perronet 

There Once Was a Prophet from Judah... Has Arrived

The book you all have been waiting for - There Once Was a Prophet from Judah: Biblical Limericks for Fun and Prophet - has arrived, at least at my house. And you can see just how excited my wife is about it.

Order your copy (or your seven or eight copies) now:

You can order it from the Wipf and Stock Customer Service line at 541-344-1528. 

or from the Wipf and Stock web site: There Once Was a Prophet from Judah

And if you are one of those who reads books on a Kindle, it will be available in 3 – 4 months.

My mother is proud of me for having published this, my second book. But she’s not going to like it as much as my first – Muted Hosannas - which is still available from Frontier Press.

There Once Was a Prophet from Judah Is Available Now

Hurray and Huzzah! It is time to shout. My book – There Once Was a Prophet from Judah: Biblical Limericks for Fun and Prophet – is now ready for you to purchase. Yes. Yes. After what seems like months and months of waiting (seems like months and months because it has been months and months) the book is really, and truly in print.

And you can order your very own copy. Or you can order your very own seven or eight copies. I won’t stop you. Retail price is $23.00. For that price you are getting a collection of limericks spanning both the Old and New Testaments, as well as that mostly unread stuff in the Apocrypha, and a number of slightly not-so-biblical limericks. That’s several hundred limericks. But Wait! There’s more! You’ll also get the preface, written by my good friend, Joel Watts – who also has a couple of books available from Wipf and Stock. (And his book, Praying in God’s Theater, has an afterword written by me. Just sayin’…)

I should warn you, though, the limericks in There Once Was a Prophet from Judah are limericks and that means they tend to be … somewhat uncouth. Rough around the edges. They deal with unmentionable things. And in this, they are very much like the Bible, from which they have been drawn. Prepare to be stung, provoked, and irritated. Fair warning.

If, after all that, you’re still eager to purchase a copy (or seven or eight) the following will be helpful:

Immediately, starting today (02/20/2018), you can order it from the Wipf and Stock Customer Service line at 541-344-1528. 

It will be available from the Wipf and stock website in 2 weeks. 

It will be available from Amazon in 2 – 4 weeks. (Though, I think you can already pre-order it from Amazon…)
It will be available from Ingram in 4 weeks.

And if you are one of those who reads books on a Kindle, it will be available in 3 – 4 months.

My mother is proud of me for having published this, my second book. But she’s not going to like it as much as my first – Muted Hosannas - which is still available from Frontier Press.

ISBN 13: 978-1-5326-3818-3

We Have a Cover - There Once Was a Prophet from Judah

The wait has been long, but it’s almost here- my new book: There Once Was a Prophet from Judah: Biblical Limericks for Fun and Prophet, has a cover- a great cover, and will be going to press by the end of the week.  Huzzah and whatnot!

I’m sure that you’ll want to buy a copy or seven. Buy one for your neighbor, your pastor, your librarian... Buy a copy for your family, your friends - buy one for your enemies, even.

Good News from My Publisher

Maybe you’d forgotten. Or perhaps you’d begun to think that I might have been fibbing when, way back in July of last year I announced that the good folks at Wipf and Stock had agreed to publish my collection of Biblical Limericks.

Well, I didn’t forget. And I wasn’t fibbing. Not even a little. Though it has taken a few months, I am pleased to say that I received an email informing me that my book is with the typesetter, and that I should have a pdf copy sometime next week to review. Once any corrections have been made (and, honestly, how many could there be…?) the work will be forwarded to Production. Then, providing that the cover is also completed, the book will be ready to print.    

So, please (please, please, please) be ready to order seven or eight copies of There Once Was a Prophet from Judah… Biblical Limericks for Fun and Prophet in the very near future. And encourage your friends, and family, and neighbors, and your enemies even, to order a copy.  Thanks.

Biblical Limericks: Let the Reader Understand

Don’t let yourself get down in the dump
the Last Day is still over the hump.
First the Falling Away,
then the terrible day
when the Lawless One comes with a Trump.

2 Thessalonians 2: 1 - 4

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Biblical Limericks: Socialist Tendency

Though it offend Christian bourgeoisie,
it must be admitted presently
that the Apostle Paul
had the nerve and the gall
to flaunt a socialist tendency.

2 Corinthians 8: 13 - 15

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Biblical Limericks: I Think We Have Time

Peter said the end of all is near,
but you and I, we aren’t ones to fear;
it’s been quite a long spell
so I say, ‘what the hell,
I think we have time to share a beer.’

1 Peter 4: 7

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Biblical Limericks: Creation Reversed

I will sweep away the humans first,
then creatures, and birds, and fish submersed.
I’ll topple the fiendish
for all their uncleanness;
I will see my creation reversed.

Zephaniah 1: 2 - 3

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Biblical Limericks: The Daniel Diet

No, the Bible did not supply it;
ignore those who want you to buy it.
They that published the books
are little more than crooks -
peddling a baseless Daniel Diet.

Daniel 1: 8 - 18

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Biblical Limericks: Unsavory

Here I am, the man unsavory,
under the rod of the Lord’s fury.
He’s led me, day and night,
into darkness, not light.
I’m wasted, and broken, and dreary.

Lamentations 3: 1- 4

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Biblical Limericks: Proverbial Euphemisms

Live all your life with joy and with zest;
enjoy your wife and fondle her breast.
And drink deep from her well,
that’s where pleasure will swell,
and may your, ahem, 'fountain' be blessed.

Proverbs 5: 15 - 19

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Biblical Limericks: No Pants

By breastplate and helmet we’re enhanced,
a belt and shoes will improve our stance,
but what covers our legs?
Paul, answer me I begs:
the armor of God includes no pants!

Ephesians 6: 14 - 17

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 

Biblical Limericks: Amanuensis

Don’t think of it as gratuitous;
that we have it is fortuitous,
and don’t neglect this book
for forgotten Baruch
was Jeremiah’s amanuensis.

Baruch 1 - 6

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Biblical Limericks: Creator of Almost Everything

On this I am in no way lying,
though to the creeds I’d be complying:
God made all that has breath,
true, but what about death?
God created all things but dying.

The Wisdom of Solomon 1: 13

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 

Biblical Limericks: Prayers for the Dead

Here’s a topic that we might discuss:
Judas thought it not superfluous
‘cause of resurrection
(then a new conception)
to make off’rings for the dead ‘mong us.

Second Maccabees 12: 43 - 46

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 

Biblical Limericks: Non-Violent Resistance Can’t Be Passive

“We are concerned for virtue and right.
Because it’s the Sabbath we won’t fight.
Though you are militant
we will die innocent.”
A thousand were slaughtered by that night.

1 Maccabees 2: 29 - 38

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 

Biblical Limericks: Ezra and the Department of Homeland Security

The priests of Israel had heaped up shames,
they’d wedded themselves to foreign dames.
Marrying foreign gals
so offended morals
that Ezra published all of their names.

Ezra 10

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 

(Not Quite) Biblical Limericks: Good News Today

I’m telling no lies, playing no tricks -

the good news today has me transfixed: There’s a publisher who is ready and set to
publish my biblical limericks.


The acceptance email came this afternoon from Wipf and Stock. I’ll share more details as I have them. And, of course, you can still get a copy of my first book, Muted Hosannas.

Biblical Limericks: An Apocryphal Guy

Tobit was an apocryphal guy,

while he slept a bird shat in his eye;

his sight and vision failed

so he cried, and he wailed,

and he prayed to God that he might die.

Tobit 2: 1 - 3: 6