The Dragon Roland Raygun and Other Monsters

 If you've paid any attention to this blog over the years, you may have already  guessed that I'm a bit of a dork. It's true. I know it. My girlfriend seems to appreciate it. 

I have a D&D character which is a bard. He's not really the stereotypical D&D bard, seducing the all women  - though he does have some bawdy songs in his repertoire.  He's more a sort of adventuring Woody Guthrie, a folk singer and folk hero. And, in advance of an upcoming gaming session, I have composed a couple of songs for my character to sing. 

There was a mighty dragon
whose name was Roland Raygun
but down he fell
straight into hell
for consorting with the pagans. 

Now I do not wish him tortured
though he torched my father's orchard. 
But how the hell
is his name so well 
remembered and blessed by fortune? 

The ogre with an iron hatchet
her name was Margot Thatchet.
She was a beast
to say the least 
and stirred up quite a racket. 

The kobold king for oil 
did loot, and raid, and spoil. 
He was blessed by priests
for war in the east
and greatly increased our toil. 

His son followed up years later
assuming the role of invader.
Oh what a bore,
again to war.
He made our trouble much greater.