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Showing posts with label Apocrypha. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Apocrypha. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Biblical Limericks: Amanuensis



Don’t think of it as gratuitous;
that we have it is fortuitous,
and don’t neglect this book
for forgotten Baruch
was Jeremiah’s amanuensis.

Baruch 1 - 6


And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Biblical Limericks: Creator of Almost Everything


On this I am in no way lying,
though to the creeds I’d be complying:
God made all that has breath,
true, but what about death?
God created all things but dying.

The Wisdom of Solomon 1: 13

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 



Monday, August 14, 2017

Biblical Limericks: Prayers for the Dead


Here’s a topic that we might discuss:
Judas thought it not superfluous
‘cause of resurrection
(then a new conception)
to make off’rings for the dead ‘mong us.


Second Maccabees 12: 43 - 46

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Biblical Limericks: Non-Violent Resistance Can’t Be Passive


“We are concerned for virtue and right.
Because it’s the Sabbath we won’t fight.
Though you are militant
we will die innocent.”
A thousand were slaughtered by that night.


1 Maccabees 2: 29 - 38

And - if you like the biblical limericks that I've been writing for a couple of years now, take note:  I am working on, and nearly finished with a book length collection of them. I'll have it to my publisher by the end of this month, and it will be available sometime not long after that. 

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Biblical Limericks: An Apocryphal Guy


Tobit was an apocryphal guy,
while he slept a bird shat in his eye;
his sight and vision failed
so he cried, and he wailed,
and he prayed to God that he might die.

Tobit 2: 1 - 3: 6

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Biblical Limericks: Testicular Trauma


When the humble man or woman calls,
he comes without halts, pauses, or stalls;
he will not be delayed
to see evil repaid
and kick the merciless in the balls.

Sirach 35: 18




Sunday, May 1, 2016

Biblioblog Carnival April 2016


Greetings and Salutations! Welcome to the Biblioblog Carnival roundup for April 2016 - a collection of blog posts, videos, podcasts and tweets relevant to the broad field of biblical studies posted last month. These may not have been the BEST of ALL possible blog posts, videos, podcasts and tweets, but they are ones that caught my eye and captured my interest. I've hosted the biblioblog in the past, and now as then, I've utilized a more-is-more, throw the spaghetti against the wall and see what sticks kind of approach. Jim West at Zwinglius Redivivus will, no doubt, be much more selective in his own version of the Carnival.



Sweaty Old Testamenty Stuff

*Marlowe at Carpe Scriptura spent some time reconsidering Amos’s “Rhetoric of Entrapment."

It seems as though God’s voice – the lion’s roar – may be a much more central theme in the book than I had initially thought. The cutting of the lines of communication comes up again and again as both Israel and God do it. It is this cutting of contact that warrants Israel’s punishment, and it is also the punishment itself. Amos’s role as intercessor in Amos 7 becomes so much more important, because it is through the prophets that Israel might “seek the Lord and live. As we move through the book, we find that God’s voice is linked to sin, punishment, and even salvation.
You might as well be writing feminist interpretations of an Ikea assembly manual if you’re going to publish astrophysical papers on the Psalms.

*Dr. Bruce Wells at the ASOR blog spoke about Sex Crimes in the Hebrew Bible.



*Christopher Rollston posted the first of a series of articles on gender-based violence in the bible:  Jacob’s Daughter Dinah.

… although in the recent past (e.g., just a few decades ago) violence against women was not the subject of international attention or concern, it has now “come to be recognized as a legitimate human rights issue and as a significant threat to women’s health and well-being.” The fact that there is now much more focus on gender-based violence is such a good thing, so right, so important. Of course, the witness of Scripture (and this is one of the reasons for recounting Dinah’s story here) is that gender-based violence is a very old problem.

*Deane at Remnant of Giants shared a post about literacy rates in ancient Judah: Judah’s Military Correspondence From ca. 600 BCE: Evidence of Widespread Literacy but not Evidence of the Bible 

The strength of the article lies in its identification of the extent of literacy in far-flung reaches of Judea, among various ranking members of the military and military administration. It would be not too rash to say that, given the literacy levels in the military establishment, we would expect that scribal literacy would be competent to produce more literary works of the forms which we find in the Hebrew Bible/Tanach. Indeed, the Tell Deir ‘Alla plaster inscription, written in a Hebrew dialect and located bang in the middle of Israelite territory during the period of its hegemony in the region, dates some two centuries before this. So scribes would be capable of the literary forms found in the Hebrew Bible. This doesn’t really tell us about the general literacy in the wider population, as the article implies it does. But more important is the question of literacy among the elites, which the article provides reasonable evidence for.

*And, if you'll forgive me, one of my own Biblical Limericks: That's Certainly Coitus Interrupted

Apocryphal, Pseudographical, Intertestamental and other Weirdo Type Stuff


*James Hamrick at The Ancient Bookshelf  has a reading/vocabulary guide for Ethiopic Jubilees available for you to download. Ethiopic Jubilees Reading Guide: The Creation, Part 1 

*Presidential Candidate Donald Trump told us his favorite bible verse.

*Ancient-Reformed Worship spoke to Hughes Oliphant about the Odes of Solomon

The Odes cast a spell. Something beautiful is happening here. It has a literary integrity I think that’s very important. The Odes are very unusual in the different imagery that they come up with. But that imagery is used again and again. One place where the Odes seem to have mined this imagery is the Book of Psalms. And Rendel Harris, the great scholar who really brought the Odes to the attention of the modern world, refers to these Odes as Psalm pendants. It’s as though the congregation might have sung a particular Psalm, and then, the Odes would’ve been sung as a response to it. And so many of the Odes when one reads through them one realizes that the imagery of Psalm 45 is being used or Psalm 63 is being used. And that’s one of the beautiful things about these Odes is that they’re so close to scripture.

*The Biblical Review reviewed the Testament of Moses 

Although the Testament of Moses is cut off half-way through the manuscript, it is nonetheless helpful in reconstructing ideologies and worldviews from the Levant in the 1st century C.E., and even earlier if we assume the text had previous written and oral traditions preceding it’s composition. The testament claims to be “the prophecy which was made by Moses in the book of Deuteronomy”; however, while it takes up a similar tone, the testament incorporates material relevant to the Maccabean Period, indicative of the late date of the text.


Based on the previous information, it is evident that we should read the Testament of Moses as its own piece of literary work, self-sustaining and independent. What we will consider today is Moses’ role as a divinator in the Testament of Moses.

*I'm sorry. I can't help myself. It's compulsive- Biblical Limericks: The Nothingness of  a Man

New Intestines


*James McGrath is trying to find a balance between naive credulity and extreme skepticism with respect to the Gospels and other early Christian sources in description of Jesus’ death in Philippians 2: 6 – 11. Philippians 2 and the Historical Jesus

It is striking to turn in light of this to Philippians 2:6-11. If Paul is there quoting a hymn, then this might be our earliest source of information about the death of Jesus, as well as about how Christians understood it. In that passage, Jesus’ death is nothing else but the culmination of his obedience, leading to his exaltation.

*Richard Beck at Experimental Theology wrote about the tragedy in violence- Put Away the Sword: Tragedy and Eschatology 

That's what upsets me about crowds cheering and thrilling to calls to bomb ISIS, so-called "Christians" who are viewing violence triumphalistically rather than tragically. Because Jesus said "put your sword away" Christians can never cheer violence. We must only grieve it.

*Scott McKnight at Jesus Creed  wrote about the Messianic Divine Secret of Jesus in the gospel of Mark.

...if Jesus silenced confession of him as Messiah how much more would have silenced for strategical reasons any suggestions of his deity. I find the logic solid, if not compelling.

*Phil Long at Reading Acts has been working his way though the Apocalypse of John  – Heavenly Throne Rooms in Apocalyptic Literature 

Revelation 4-5 is built first on the foundation of the Hebrew Bible. There are several texts which describe God as enthroned, such as Isaiah 6 and Ezekiel 1-2. In both of these passages the prophet sees a vision of God enthroned in heaven surrounded by otherworldly angelic creatures (seraphim in Isaiah, cherubim in Ezekiel). In both cases the prophet is stunned by the vision and eventually commissioned to a prophetic office. In Revelation 4 there is a central throne, angelic beings, but John is not a prophet as much as an observer of the impending judgment contained in the scroll given to the Lamb to open.

*Dustin R. Smith at The Dustin Martyr Blog attended the “Did Jesus Exist” debate between Craig Evans and Richard Carrier: 

I had the privilege of attending last night’s debate on “Did Jesus Exist?” between two well-versed debaters – Dr. Craig Evans and Dr. Richard Carrier. When I learned of this debate, I wanted to take advantage of listening to Carrier, who is probably the world’s foremost mythicist scholar. In other words, I felt that this debate would expose me to the best arguments scholars could put forth suggesting Jesus was simply made up in history. Now I took plenty of apologetic classes in my undergraduate and graduate studies to become convinced of the overwhelming evidence regarding Jesus’ existence, but I could not pass up the chance to listen to Richard Carrier live. So I piled up my car with a few of my bright students and we took off to witness the debate. Here are some of my observations of last night’s event:

*Pete Enns thinks that Paul was just “winging it.” 

I know that might not seem very reverent, especially since Romans is often thought of as the primo example of Paul at his difficult yet nevertheless logically consistent best, where he once and for all lays out the basics of the gospel for all to hear and for all time. Not that Romans is a jumbled mess—may it never be (see what I did there?)—but to me Romans reads more like Paul is in creative-problem-solving mode for Roman Christians facing a pressing problem (how Jews and Gentiles make up one people of God) than Paul sitting in his study writing a theological treatise intended for wider publication.

*Biblical Studies Online shared two lectures from David Noel Freedman: “Jesus as a Disciple”  (April 23, 1993)  a
nd “The Role of Human Beings in the Bible” (April 20, 1993) 



*Ronald V. Huggins  refuted the idea that Judas didn’t actually exist: Did Judas Exist? A Friendly Critique of Dennis R. MacDonald's Easter Time Blog  

*I need help. I know it: Biblical Limericks: The Four Horsemen

Gnostical

*James McGrath at Exploring our Matrix  appeared on the online talk show: Talk Gnosis to speak about the historical Jesus and mythicism. 




*Jesus Facepalmed -Part 2 of James McGrath’s Conversation with Talk Gnosis at Gnostic Wisdom-

Is there a vast international conspiracy to convince you that Jesus was a real person? Well, not really. It’s a game of probabilities. Scholars say that, given the evidence we have, it’s more likely than not that there was an actual dude named Jesus walking around in the desert 2000 years ago. Of course, you are free to draw your own conclusions, and a belief in Gnosticism certainly does not need to include a belief in a historical Jesus.

Ecclesial Churchy Stuff

*Alexandria at Women in Theology wrote about masculine vs feminine church in Between the Binary: Is “Effeminacy”Really an Issue in Evangelical Church Culture?

Too often, Christian writers and commentators assume (or do not question) an equivalency between femininity and the female; therefore, the mere presence of female bodies within a church’s congregation is believed to engender an effeminate style of Christianity. Evangelicalism’s enduring phobia of “liberal” feminism is largely to blame, and has made its members ignorant of even the most innocuous principles of basic gender theory: namely, that there is a distinction between biological sex and gender identity, that humans are responsible for creating culturally contingent gender roles (not God), and that both men and women hardly ever conform completely to their prescribed roles.


*Pope Francis released an apostolic exhortation entitled Amoris Laetitia, Latin for “The Joy of Love.” You can read the whole 256 page document here.

If you are heterosexual, married, divorced, and remarried with an understanding parish priest, you have reason to be hopeful that your “irregular situation” can be fixed. If you use most forms of effective birth control, have an abortion, or are a sexually active LGBTIQ Catholic, you might as well read Dante and/or seek another denomination if you expect to be treated with equality, dignity, and respect. ... The “Joy Love Club” is members-only.

*Members of a recent Vatican council have called for Pope Francis to reject the “Just War” theory and to issue and encyclical on nonviolence 

Too often the 'just war theory' has been used to endorse rather than prevent or limit war," they continue. "Suggesting that a 'just war' is possible also undermines the moral imperative to develop tools and capacities for nonviolent transformation of conflict…We need a new framework that is consistent with Gospel nonviolence," say the participants, noting that Francis and his four predecessors have all spoken out against war often. "We propose that the Catholic Church develop and consider shifting to a Just Peace approach based on Gospel nonviolence.


Of course, even if Christians did engage in contextualization—expressing their message and worship in the language or forms of the local people—that in no way implies doctrinal compromise. Christians around the world have sought to redeem the local culture for Christ while purging it of practices antithetical to biblical norms. After all, Christians speak of "Good Friday," but they are in no way honoring the worship of the Norse/Germanic queen of the gods Freya by doing so.


But, in fact, in the case of Easter the evidence suggests otherwise: that neither the commemoration of Christ's death and resurrection nor its name are derived from paganism.

*Joel Watts at Unsettled Christianity wrote about the time that Lucifer split the church by refusing grace.



Philosofical, Theologicalic Things

*The good folks at Jesus Jazz and Buddhism think that Everything We See is Past  and they have diagrams and videos about Process Theology, Alfred Whitehead and light cones. 



*Joseph P. Laycock at The Conversation  looked at Why So Many Americans Think They’re #Blessed

Today, America seems divided between those who engage with some version of the prosperity gospel and those who smugly dismiss it as fraudulent and puerile. While there are a number of problems with the gospel, it’s important to look at why this strand of religious thinking evolved in the first place, and why it persists.


I believe salvation is not from hell but to good works (Eph. 2.8-10). Salvation is not a momentary conversion, but a process of ontological importance. It is found in the Creed, but never defined. However, Protestantism usually sees it in terms of avoidance of hell. You’ll here mentioned “we deserved hell” and “we aren’t worthy.” Yet, Scripture never declares these things as well as the Reformers did. For Scripture, and Orthodoxy (and Wesleyanism), Salvation begins with the love of God, ending in the positive, rather than the negative.

Archaeologicists

*James Tabor at the Tabor Blog explored the deepening mystery of The Abba Cave, Crucifixion Nails, and the Last Hasmonean King.

It was assumed back in the 1970s that these bones were buried and no longer available for analysis–but it turns out this is not the case. What is even more intriguing, the victim was arguably none other than Matitiyahu Antigonus–the last of the Hashmonean kings–who was both beheaded and crucified by Marc Anthony. in 37 BCE. And even more significant, Greg Doudna has persuasively argued that this Antigonus is none other than the famed “Teacher of Righteousness” in the Dead Sea Scrolls,

*Archaeology News Network - Reported that construction workers in Gaza have discovered ancient ruins that archaeologists say may be part of a Byzantine church dating from around 1,500 years ago, The findings include segments of marble pillars with ornate Corinthian capitals, one nearly three meters (yards) long, and a 90 cm (35 inch) foundation stone bearing a Greek symbol for Christ. Fifteen pieces have been uncovered, with excavations continuing.


According to Dina Avshalom-Gorni, the project’s chief archaeologist on behalf of the IAA, “the incense shovel that was found is one of ten others that are known in the country from the Second Temple period. From early research in the world it was thought that the incense shovel was only used for ritual purposes, to care for the embers and incense that were burnt in ritual ceremonies. Over the years, after incense shovels were discovered in a non-cultic context, it appears they were also used as tools for daily tasks. The incense shovel and jug found in our excavation were exposed lying next to each other on the floor in one of the rooms, at the late Second Temple period storehouses that is located adjacent to the dock of the large Jewish settlement, on the shore of Sea of ​​Galilee. These implements might have been saved in the storeroom as heirlooms by a Jewish family living at Migdal, or they may have been used for daily work as well.”



Edumacational


Given that I have sat on both sides of the interview table–as both candidate looking for a post, and as President or Academic Dean looking to fill a post–I thought I might offer a few reflections on the interview process.  In particular, I want to help candidates know what we are really looking for in a potential professor. I say “really” because I think candidates often misunderstand what we are looking for. And, due to that misunderstanding, sometimes candidates are simply heading down an unhelpful path in the interview process.And when I say “we” I am thinking particularly of those leaders in the world of evangelical seminaries.  Those in university settings, or those who are not evangelical, are unlikely to offer the same advice.

*Larry Hurdato explains Scrolls and the Early Codex 



*Biblical Studies Online shared an interview with ProfessorStavrakopoulou (University of Exeter) who explains why a lot of what’s in the Bible isn’t real, but why she loves it anyway.




Movie Reviews, Book Reports, and Musical Events

*Neil Carter (no relation, so far as I know) at Godless in Dixie  wrote about the Evangelical Christian desire – need- to be persecuted and the film God's Not Dead 2 - Persecute Me, Please: God’s Not Dead 2 and the Evangelical Lust for Victimhood

It’s like they’re ripping off the plot of Miracle on 34th Street. Only this time, it’s set in Arkansas at the state capitol. And instead of trying to establish whether or not Santa Claus is real, now they are trying to determine if Jesus was real. Because that would totally happen in real life in a court of law. And it’s totally relevant to the case at hand.

*James McGrath rather likes Daniel Kirk’s New Book – A Man Attested By God 

This may be the most important book in Christology to appear in recent years. Written in an era when it has become increasingly popular to insist that Jesus is already depicted as a pre-existent figure in the Synoptic Gospels, one who is absorbed into the “divine identity,” Daniel Kirk makes a persuasive case for viewing the depiction of Jesus in Matthew, Mark, and Luke as one of idealized humanity. Unlike many other proposals, this category, and this volume in which it is proposed, does good justice to the evidence, and is likely to stand the test of time.

*Ben Witherington at the Bible and Culture reviewed Richard Hay’s new book: “Echoes of Scripture in the Gospels.”

And even when the NT writers were transforming the OT text in creative ways, for example as Paul does in Gal. 4, these improvisations presuppose a stable text to which one can return again and again, and use in a variety of ways. I would use the analogy of say John Coltrane’s famous version of the Sound of Music song ‘My Favorite Things’. ‘Trane was not trying to faithfully ‘exegete’ that song, he was rather using it as a taking off point for a creative improvisation, but at the same time he was well aware of what playing the tune straight amounted to and sounded like, and he presupposed that his audience did as well (they could look at a copy of the original sheet music or put on the recording of the Sound of Music), so they could appreciate where he was, so to speak, playing outside the lines on the staff paper. I think, in other words, that figural interpretation was only one of the tools in the hermeneutical toolbox of the Gospel writers, and it was not one they always used, certainly not to the exclusion of other ways of using the OT.

*James McGrath also shared A Service of Sacred Music and Rock Prayers 

I am not trying to make the case that no music is sacred. On the contrary, I am more inclined to make the opposite case and argue that all music is sacred. Music takes vibrations in the physical world and combines them in ways that we perceive as beautiful. And so music by definition points towards transcendence, towards the fact that there is more to life that what one perspective can do justice to. And since music is a pointer towards God, it makes sense to use music – any music – as an opportunity to talk about one’s faith and the things that are important to us.

*
Knockin' on Heaven's Door: Bob Dylan and the Gospel - An evening of Gospel and music following the Jewish carpenter who renounced his father's name to sing the blues out on Highway 61.





Ruben Zimmermann’s Puzzling the Parables of Jesus: Methods and Interpretations is a very fine work. One value of the book is that it consciously seeks to bring together current German and American research on the parables. Another important feature is that Zimmermann applies recent research on historiography and memory to the interpretation of the parables. This post will highlight a third contribution of the book, namely Zimmermann’s perceptive discussion of the genre of parable and his convincing suggestion that there are, in fact, parables in John.


In Memoriam 

*Activist Priest and Vietnam Protester Daniel Berrigan Dies at 94

“Dan was one of the great Catholics of our time, a champion of social justice and a tireless promoter of peace…His influence on the peace movement, particularly during the Vietnam War, cannot be overstated, but his aim was not simply peace in Indochina, but peace everywhere.” Berrigan was one of seven Catholic priests who used napalm to burn draft cards in 1968 in protest against the Vietnam War, according to the National Catholic Reporter. As a result, he was sentenced to three years in prison.



*Poet and Prophet 

A literary giant in his own right, Berrigan was best known for his dramatic acts of civil disobedience against the Vietnam War and nuclear weapons. He burned draft files with homemade napalm and later hammered on nuclear weapons to enact the Isaiah prophecy to “beat swords into plowshares.” His actions challenged Americans and Catholics to reexamine their relationship with the state and reject militarism. He constantly asked himself and others: What does the Gospel demand of us?



Future Carnivals

The next several carnivals will be hosted by:

May 2016 (June 1) – Brian Renshaw, @renshaw330
June 2016 (July 1) – Kris Lyle at Old School Script, @KristopherLyle

After that there's nothing - unless you act now. Phil Long at Reading Acts, who organizes these events, would love for you to volunteer as host for upcoming biblioblog carnivals. Contact him  PLEASE! (via Twitter @plong42 ) if you're interested.
















Saturday, April 2, 2016

Biblical Limericks: The Nothingness of a Man


What is a man, and why should he boast?
He lives for one hundred years, at most;
like droplets in the sea,
lost in eternity-
without the Lord’s mercy he is toast.

Ecclesiasticus 18: 8 - 11

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Biblical Limericks: Phinehas


Phinehas, on account of his zeal,
is numbered third in glory-for real!
First Moses, then Aaron,
but Phin is forgotten
and who can recall his spear of steel?

Sirach 45: 23 / Numbers 25: 6 - 13

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Biblical Limericks: Almsgiving


Tobit says it with striking starkness:
if you want to preserve your carcass
eliminate all qualms
‘bout the giving of alms-
it stops death and trips into darkness.

Tobit 4:10 

Saturday, January 16, 2016

At That Precise Moment-An Angel


Do you believe in heaven above?
At that precise moment, as determined by  FOCS 1-the continuous cold caesium fountain atomic clock in Switzerland-with an uncertainty of 1 second in 30 million years, though they were nearly 800 km apart, the suicidal prayers of both Sarah and Tobit were heard in the presence of glory. Sarah in Ecbatana (a city with great walls rising in circles, one within another) and Tobit in the fish city, Nineveh, were heard at the same moment.

Do you believe in love?
And in that very same moment as Sarah and Tobit finished their prayers, just as a preternatural wind blew through an open door allowing a cat to escape, just as the light from a distant lighthouse shined down on a black gospel choir, just as scavenger birds began to feast upon a mountain of garbage, the angel Raphael, one of the seven, was standing in position behind the throne of glory and heard their prayers.

Open fire!
Raphael: The prince of shades and Hades, appointed over Tartarus, responsible for departed souls.
Raphael: He who cures diseases and viruses and corporate malfeasances.
Raphael: Who healed Abraham’s painful circumcision and Jacob’s wounded thigh.
Raphael: Who did bind Azazel both hand and foot, and cast him into the darkness by making a hole in the desert which is in Dudael (the Cauldron of God), and did bind him to the rough and jagged rocks, and covered him forever there with darkness that his face might not see the light until the great day of judgment when he shall be cast into fire.

Don’t know what to do
At that precise moment, precise movement. Motion. When all was quiet and not quite in catacombs and crypts, the angel of healing was sent to them; Raphael was dispatched to heal them both: to Tobit to remove the waxy white scales of his persistent and inexplicable blindness, and to Sarah to divorce her from the demon Asmodeus. At that very moment, as confirmed and verified by the master atomic clock ensemble at the U.S. Naval Observatory in Washington, D.C., which provides the time standard for the U.S. Department of Defense, Tobit returned from the courtyard into his house and Sarah came down from the upper room (without having hanged herself in a noose) an archangel of heaven was dispatched for healing and relief.

Send me an angel, right now


Thursday, January 14, 2016

Sarah Prayed for Death


Then, even at the moment I was praying for death, and for death to come soon, Sarah too was praying and praying for death. Sarah, the daughter, the daughter beloved, the only daughter of Raguel, the friend of God,[i] who lived in Ecbatana of Media–in the Zagros mountains, the summer resort of kings, and the original home of the Bride and the Monster-prayed for a swift and not ignoble death of her own.

Sarah, soaked in the horror sweat of fearful dreams, prayed for an end to the insults and shame.

Every day one of her father’s serving girls, the one nasally voice, the one with a bloody mouth and a biting tongue, mocked her with words and with laughter. “Where is your husband?” the serving girl jeered. “Where is your man?” She jested and laughed.  Hee hee hee tee hee! “Oh” she gasped and covered her mouth with a manicured hand. “He’s dead, isn’t he?” She grinned a toothy wide grin at her mistress and said, “He is dead, and dead, and dead again, and twice that, and again once more. Seven times dead. Seven husbands and seven deaths. Seven wedding vows. Seven body bags.” The serving girl sneered at her lady, “It wasn’t the bloodied napkin to show proof of your virginity the house-stewards brought out from the marriage chamber to display before the gathered crowd, was it?  It was the blood soaked sheets of seven dead husbands. Somehow, it just don’t seem fittin’ for a man to spend his weddin’ night in a coffin.”

So Sarah ran away in tears to continue her prayers for death.

It’s true of course; her husbands (all seven) were dead, killed by the worst of the lost. They were murdered by Asmodeus, one of the shd, the shedu, the shedyim, by Asmodeus, one of the few nameless to be given a name (ranked alongside Lilith, Resheph, Azazel, Belial and Mastemah). They were killed by the demon Asmodeus, a Cambion–born of the unhallowed union of incubus and a desperate daughter of Eve, the demon of 72 crossroads, the prince of forgotten lore, full of burning rage and lust and sulfur fire. He killed them, one by one, before they could duly consummate the marriage, or rock the marriage bed.

And this is why Sarah, the bride of death, prayed for death, why she went upstairs in her father’s house with the coiled cord of unbecoming death in her hands. (There is no clear Biblical prohibition against self-slaughter.) But before she tied the noose, Sarah thought of her father and reconsidered.  She prayed with her hands outstretched toward the open window.

“Blessed are you, God of Mercies.
May your name be blessed, blessed again, and blessed once more.
May all your creatures-from flea to frilled lizard, from wasp to whale, from virus to vulture, from house cat to human-praise you forever.

“What further, wretched wounds are written for me?

“And now I have turned my tear-riven face to you,
command that I be released from the earth,
released from the business of living.
Command that I be released and
I shall be released.

“Now is the noisy one set in a state of tears.
Now trusted rosy rosaries are discarded upon the ground
and, wounded as we are, we want to die.

“Master, I am innocent of defilement
and clear of disgrace,
but I am my father’s only begotten daughter;
he has no other heir.
Already my seven are dead,
cold and ashen beneath the serious moonlight.
I could spit in the eyes of fools,
but why should I go on living?

“My circulation and stomach rebel.
The symptoms abate, but the insults and shame do not.

“So let me die,
Lord let me die;
let me…
But if you are not pleased to take my life,
listen instead to their taunting;
really listen…






[i] Not to be confused with Raguel, the Archangel who was condemned by Pope Zachary in AD 754.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Peace through Justice, Glory through Devotion - An Advent Sermon


In last week’s sermon for the first week of Advent drawn from the writings of the prophet Jeremiah, I spoke about the name of the anticipated messianic king, the name of the city where he would rule, and the name of the congregation that is assembled there. That name, we discovered, is: “The Lord is my Vindicator” (JPS) or “The Lord is my Righteousness” (NRSV) or “The Lord is my Saving Justice” (NJB).

I want to continue this second week of Advent thinking about longing, and about new names and justice. We’ll also continue our connection with the prophet Jeremiah, though only from a distance. One of the texts we’re looking at this morning is from Baruch 5: 1 – 9, part of what is known by Protestants as “the apocrypha” and by Roman Catholics as “the Deuterocanonical books.” It is attributed to Baruch ben Neriah (Baruch 1:1 /Jeremiah 43:6) who was the prophet Jeremiah’s amanuensis, that is: Jeremiah’s secretary, scribe, and sidekick. But most biblical scholars doubt that the historical Baruch[i] is the author of the book apocryphal / deuterocanonical book that bears his name. It seems to have been written much later.

I said last week that while Advent is a season of anticipation, of looking forward, in order to do so we need to go backwards first. And so we will.  The book claims to have been written five years after the Jewish people were conquered by the Babylonians and taken into exile and is intended to call the people to repentance, to pray for mercy, to encourage them to seek wisdom, and to give them hope for the future. As I said, however, it is unlikely that the book was actually written at that time. “The Babylonian exile was not a living reality for the author or editor of Baruch. Rather, it was a theological context for reflection on the covenant between God and Israel” (Goff 73).

And we will read it as such, for, like the Jewish people in Babylonian exile, and like those of the actual author’s time, we feel the encompassing darkness of despair and hopelessness. We are afraid. We worry about the future. In the cold December of our lives, the hopeless time of sin when shadows deep have fallen (Hawhee) we need comfort. We need joy. We need hope.

The world around us seems to be crumbling, shaking itself apart in paroxysm of doom, and violent outbursts of rage and destruction. We are a people in perpetual mourning as the news continues to bring us report after report of murder and mayhem. Churches are bombed; mosques are vandalized; synagogues are defaced. Children are shot in the streets. Bombs explode in cities around the world. Bombs are dropped on countries around the globe. Machines of war roll through the rubble of smoldering cities chasing millions of frightened refugees from homes. We lower our flags and hang our heads and we despair because the world has gone mad.

We are people who “live in darkness and the shadow dark as death” (Luke 1:79 NJB).

If we are frightened by world around us, who could blame us? We want to be safe. We want to be secure in our homes. We want our families to be protected and defended from danger. And the world is full of danger: many that we know, many more that we may not know. We want peace. We want to live in peace, but peace, like dawn, seems very far away to the people living in darkness and the shadows of death.

We want peace. We want to live in peace.  And in the long ages of the earth, one method of achieving peace has been tried and taught and tested over and over again. And even though it has failed to ever achieve peace, it continues with us. This age old idea is that peace can be achieved through strength, that peace can be maintained through superior firepower. President Theodore Roosevelt was neither the first, nor the last to utilize a “big stick ideology.” He wrote in his autobiography that “… a proper armament is the surest guarantee of peace” (Roosevelt), and in ancient Rome they said, “Si vis pacem, para bellum.” – If you want peace, prepare for war. The idea is the same.

But the big stick idea of “peace through strength” or “peace through superior firepower” has never really achieved peace anywhere in its long history.  The Motto of the United States’ Strategic Air Command “Peace through Strength, Victory through Devastation” is not very different than the words recorded by the Roman historian, Tacitus: “To ravage, to slaughter, to usurp under false titles, they call empire; and where they make a desert, they call it peace” (Tacitus).

But this isn’t peace. Not really. It is violence. It is war. It is fear, not peace. It is destruction and devastation. It makes only desert and desolation. It is all those things we say that we don’t want. Most people will usually agree with General William Tecumseh Sherman, who said that “War is hell.” But when we’re frightened or angered or threatened, we’re quick to pick up our weapons and go willingly into that hell and to unleash that hell on those we perceive to be our enemies.

But this is not peace. And if it does result in a cessation of warfare, it does not last. The defeated party suffers death and devastation; they are angry and humiliated and despairing. They may surrender in defeat, but they are not at peace. And the victors may receive the spoils of war, but they can never relax. Their strength must be vigilantly maintained. That firepower must be renewed incessantly. Vast resources must be consumed in order to maintain a paranoid level of preparedness – ever watchful, ready to inflict death and destruction, ready to unleash the next round of hell on earth. This is not peace. This is not freedom from fear.

Our reading from the Gospel of Luke today (Luke 1: 68-79) is the priest Zechariah’s words to his infant son, John, who would grow up to become John the Baptizer. Zechariah said to his boy:

Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel,
for he has visited his people, he has set them free,
and he has established for us a saving power
in the House of his servant David,
just as he proclaimed,
by the mouth of his holy prophets from ancient times,
that he would save us from our enemies
and from the hands of all those who hate us,
and show faithful love to our ancestors
and so keep in mind his holy covenant.
This was the oath that he swore
to our father Abraham,
that he would grant us, free from fear,
to be delivered from the hands of our enemies,
to serve him in holiness and uprightness
in his presence all our days.
And you, little child,
you shall be called Prophet of the Most High,
for you will go before the Lord
to prepare a way for him,
to give his people knowledge of salvation
through the forgiveness of their sins,
because of the faithful love of our God
in which the rising Sun has come from on high to visit us,
to give light to those who live
in darkness and the shadow dark as death,
and to guide our feet into the way of peace.
(Luke 1: 68 – 79 NJB)

This is what we want, right? To be delivered from our enemies, without fear, to be saved from the hands of those who hate us. This is what we want, right? To have the fearful darkness of our lives dispelled by the rising Sun who guides our feet into the way of peace.

This is what we say that we want. But I’m not sure that we mean it.

Instead of peace we are pursuing war. As a nation we spend trillions for an ever expanding military preparedness, and as individuals we purchase more and more powerful firearms. On this most recent “Black Friday” (November 27, 2015) alone, the FBI’s National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS) performed 185,345 background checks on those individuals purchasing firearms. That’s enough to equip an army (Owens). We say that we want peace but we are preparing for war.

“Peace with a club in hand,” says an old proverb “is war.”[ii] This is not peace. The world has been making wastelands and calling it peace for millennia. It is time to say enough. We are tired of the desert. We are tired of the devastation. It’s time to say, “I’m going to lay down my sword and shield and study war no more” (Down by the Riverside) because peace through strength has not brought us peace.

“Come, let us go up to the mountain of Yahweh,
to the house of the God of Jacob
that he may teach us his ways
so that we may walk in his paths.”
For the Law will issue from Zion
and the word of Yahweh from Jerusalem.
Then he will judge between the nations
and arbitrate between many peoples.
They will hammer their swords into plowshares
and their spears into sickles.
Nation will not lift sword against nation,
no longer will they learn how to make war.
Isaiah 2: 3-4 (NJB)

In our text from the Apocryphal Baruch we read these words of hope:

Jerusalem, take off your dress of sorrow and distress,
put on the beauty of God’s glory for evermore,
wrap the cloak of God’s saving justice around you,
put the diadem of the Eternal One’s glory on your head,
for God means to show your splendor to every nation under heaven,
and the name God gives you for evermore will be,
“Peace-through-Justice, and Glory-through-Devotion.”
Arise, Jerusalem, stand on the heights
and turn your eyes to the east:
see your children reassembled from west and east
at the Holy One’s command, rejoicing because God has remembered.
Though they left you on foot
driven by enemies,
now God brings them back to you,
carried gloriously, like a royal throne.
For God has decreed the flattening
of each high mountain, of the everlasting hills,
the filling of the valleys to make the ground level
so that Israel can walk safely in God’s glory.
And the forests and every fragrant tree will provide shade
for Israel, at God’s command;
for God will guide Israel in joy by the light of his glory,
with the mercy and saving justice which come from him.
(Baruch 5: 1-9 NJB)

Last week we spoke about the coming of that messianic king, and the city and the people of the congregation whose name is “The Lord is our Vindicator” or “The Lord is our Salvation” or “Yahweh is our Saving Justice.” And we want that to be our name. We want to be that city of righteousness. We want to be that holy people. Just was we want the new name in this week’s reading: “Peace through Justice”

In his new year’s day message for the celebration of the day of peace in 1972, Pope Paul VI said, “"If you want Peace, work for Justice” (Pope Paul VI).  This is how peace is made. Not through bigger and more powerful and more abundant weapons. More guns will not make peace between us and our enemies. More tanks, more bombs, more missiles will not bring us peace to the earth.

There is no Peace without Justice.

Do we want to live at peace and security? Then we must pursue justice. We must put down our weapons and work for righteousness. We must stop threatening each other and begin to work for the good of everyone. This is how you make a lasting peace that is something more than the devastation and ruin of the desert. 

We must put off the garments of sorrow and distress and fear and put on the new clothes that God has for us; we must wrap ourselves in the cloak of God’s justice. Justice for everyone. There can be no exploitation of the weak, there cannot be two standards of justice-one for the rich and powerful and another for the poor and marginalized, in this beautiful city called “Peace-through-Justice, and Glory-through-Devotion.” The people of God, who really and truly want peace, must not be ready and waiting to call down fire from heaven, to unleash hell on their enemies.  The people of God will seek justice – even for their enemies, so that there will be no cause for them to be enemies.

This is true and lasting peace, without fear, without the shadow of death hanging overhead.

We are to be, during this season of Advent, preparing ourselves for the coming of Jesus, both in our celebration of his birth in Bethlehem and in his glory at the end of all things. But how are we to prepare for the coming of the prince of peace if we are still preparing for war?

In a recent morning mediation, Pope Francis said: “Jesus weeps, because we have chosen the way of war, the way of hatred, the way of hostility. This is even more glaring now that we are approaching Christmas: there will be lights, there will be celebrations, trees lit up, even nativity scenes... all decorated: the world continues to wage war, to wage wars. The world has not comprehended the way of peace.” (Pope Francis)

This Advent season, when the world around us seems lost in the darkness of death and fear and perpetual war, let us begin the dawning of a new light, the light of God. Let us work for justice-in our homes, in our cities, in our states, in our nation. Let our name be: “Peace-through-Justice, and Glory-through-Devotion.” Do we want to, as the slogan says, “Keep Christ in Christmas”? Then let us begin even now during this time of Advent. Let’s put down our weapons and build up that city of Righteousness with justice for all. We will be fair, acting without discrimination, without hatred and without fear. This is how to celebrate Christmas. This is how to make peace.

Let us bring Glory to God in the highest heaven and make peace on earth (Luke 2: 14). 








Federal Bureau of Investigation. "NICS Firearm Background Checks Top 10 Highest Days."

Goff, Matthew. “Baruch” The Oxford Encyclopeida of the Books of the Bible.  Oxford.
Oxford University Press.  2011.

Hawhee, Howard (translator) “Cold December Flies Away” – Catalonian Christmas Carol.

New Jerusalem Bible. New York, NY. Doubleday. 1999.

Pope Francis. “The Way of Peace.” Vatican. November 19, 2015. 

Pope Paul VI. “If You Want Peace, Work forJustice.” Vatican.  January 1, 19712. 

Roosevelt, Theodore. Theodore Roosevelt: an Autobiography. 1913.

Tacitus. Agricola. Oxford Revised Translation. 1897.




[i] And Historical he may have been. In 1975 a clay bullah (an impression of a seal in clay) was found with the inscription, “[belonging to] Baruch son of Neriyahu the scribe.” The authenticity of this find is debated, but the potential is certainly there.

[ii] Described across the internets as a “Portuguese proverb” but I can’t find an authoritative source.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Baruch 5: 7 -8 An Advent Haiku


level ground and smooth
through fragrant forest shade
Jerusalem

Sunday, November 8, 2015

No More Poor Sermons about the Poor Widow Woman


This passage is probably familiar to us; we’ve heard it preached in countless sermons, read it in numerous devotionals, and faith-based fundraising appeals. We’ve heard, over and over again, the repeated panegyrics for this poor widow woman who gave and gave and gave some more. The church has venerated her and her sacrificial giving and held her up as an example for us to emulate in our daily lives. Yet, for all its oft repeated familiarity, I have rarely heard the passage preached or taught correctly from its context.

Contrary to much of what we have heard over the years, the import of this passage is not in praise for her sacrificial giving (though that is a laudable virtue for the person of faith and those who deny themselves in order to give sacrificially should be commended) but in a stern condemnation of those religious leaders who value the established power system (and their place within it) over the care and protection of those they have been called to serve.

So this morning, let’s do what has been neglected; let’s begin by looking at the larger context of that poor widow’s story. Jesus is teaching within the temple courts (Mark 12: 35). We spoke a bit during last week’s sermon (Hebrews 9: 11 – 14) about the great importance the Temple in Jerusalem held for the followers of Judaism. The temple was important and because it was so important it was also very divisive.

There were some who believed that the temple was so singular and so holy because it had been built by God with his own two hands.[i] Others, like the Christian martyr, Stephen, flatly rejected this and said that God did not dwell in “a house that human hands have built… ‘What house will you build for me, says the Lord, what place for me to rest?’” (Acts 7: 47 – 50 NJB). The Essenes (who may or may not be responsible for the writings known as the Dead Sea Scrolls, found at Qumran) went so far as to pull themselves away from the rest of Judaism because they believed that the priesthood had become corrupt, and that the Temple had been defiled. They separated themselves away from Jerusalem, and set themselves to living by a high standard of ritual purity while they waited for the One who would set things right.

The temple was the center of Judaism’s ritual, even for those who separated themselves from the rest of their fellow believers. They did so because they believed the temple to be of the highest importance. Jesus arrives in the temple at the end of chapter 11 (11: 27) and he stays there through all of chapter 12, teaching and telling parables, and irritating the elites among the various religious groups. When Jesus and his disciples finally leave the temple, at the beginning of chapter 13, they comment to him, “Master, look at the size of those stones! Look at the size of those buildings!” (13: 1 NJB) at which point Jesus launches into a fierce denunciation of the temple and a prediction of its imminent destruction.

“You see these great buildings? Not a single stone will be left one on another; everything will be pulled down.” (Mark 13:2 NJB)

Now keep in mind that it was the perceived disloyalty against the Temple in Jerusalem that got the prophet Jeremiah in so much trouble. In Jeremiah 26 the prophet preached a sermon on the Temple steps, wherein he prophesied its destruction if the people would not repent. For this the priests and the prophets and all the people grabbed him and said, “You shall die!” (Jeremiah 26: 8).  They brought the prophet of God up on charges of disloyalty before the princes and said, “This man deserves the sentence of death because he has prophesied against this house and this city.” (26: 11)

Mark chapter 12 is also full of Jesus’ confrontations with the various Jewish groups; he squares off against the chief priests and scribes and elders (11: 27), the Pharisees and the Herodians (an odd partnership if there ever was one) (12: 13-17), the Sadducees (18 – 27) and the scribes (28 – 44). He speaks roughly to them, chiding them, correcting them – disrespecting them, even… at least, that’s how they certainly perceived his words.

So we find the story of our beloved widow, she of such great generosity and sacrificial giving, within a broader context of condemnation of the religious rulers and of the temple complex. We must read this story, not as a praise of this poor widow woman (though she is to be praised) but as a condemnation of those who would value the power that they wield and the respect they feel they deserve within the religious system over people under their influence.

Our reading this morning begins with Jesus’ ominous words, “Beware of the scribes…” (Mark 12: 38 NJB)

The scribes were those who knew how to read and write – something we sort of take for granted these days, but was a highly prized but not ubiquitous skill in those days.  Intellectuals from the Jerusalem aristocracy and professional scribes, as well as those Pharisees who came from the town ‘bourgeoisie’ would have been able to read, but peasants in the villages didn’t enjoy that same luxury – and women were rarely given the opportunity to learn (Meier “Roots of the Problem” 275). Originally the scribes were those royal officials tasked with recording the events and histories of the royal court but beginning with “Ezra, who established postexilic Judaism upon the Law” (Lohse 115) they eventually they became not only those who could read and write the scriptures, but were charged with preserving tradition as well as interpreting and teaching the scriptures and traditions to others. And because the torah covered every aspect of Jewish life, they decided both theological and legal questions. They had a place of respect among the Jewish community as befitted their lofty calling: they were called, “wise men, teachers of the Law, and masters,” (Lohse 116) as well as Rabbi (teacher).

The professional scribe is praised in the deuterocanonical book of Ecclesiasticus (Sirach) (39: 1- 11) written about 200 years before the time of Jesus:

“He will grow upright in purpose and learning,
he will ponder the Lord’s hidden mysteries.
He will display the instruction he has received,
taking pride in the Law of the Lord’s covenant.
Many will praise his intelligence
and it will never be forgotten.
His memory will not disappear,
generation after generation his name will live.
Nations will proclaim his wisdom,
the assembly will celebrate his praises.
If he lives long, his name will be more glorious than a thousand others,
and if he dies that will satisfy him just as well.”
(Ecclesiasticus 39: 7 – 11 NJB)

That’s pretty high praise for the office of the scribe, but instead of treating them with the dignified respect, and adulation the scribes seem to have come to expect, Jesus says to his disciples, “Beware of the scribes[ii], who like to go about in long robes, and to have salutations in the market places and the best seats in the synagogues, and the places of honor at feasts, who devour widows’ houses and for a pretense make long prayers. They will receive the greater condemnation.” (Mark 12: 28 – 40)

Jesus did not give them a deferential greeting; he did not recognize their dignity. Instead he criticized them for valuing their position of prestige in the community and the service of the temple in Jerusalem, at the expense of the poorest in the community.

The Law, which these scribes purported to value, said: “There must, then, be no poor among you” (Deuteronomy 15:4 NJB). The torah of God placed firm obligations on them to care for the poor and the helpless, the orphans and the widows.  This was the important thing – to love God and to love others – to love God by loving others.

But these religious leaders had come to value their power, their prestige, their honor, their dignity, their authority over the care of the poor. Instead of caring for the poor, they “devoured widow’s houses” and drove people, like our “poor widow” to give their last two copper pennies to the care and maintenance of the symbol of their religious authority.  She gave, out of her poverty, she gave the last little bit of what she had to maintain their glorious prestige – because they had convinced her that it was her religious obligation to do so. They ignored the law that said, “There should be no poor among you,” and used guilt and religious fear to sustain themselves and the exploitative temple complex at the expense of the poor. They devoured the poor.

While the poor widow who gave her last mite might be laudable for her sacrificial giving, those who maintained a system to exploit her mite are mightily condemned. Woe to those who value the system over the message, and their place within the power structure over justice.






Lohse, Eduard. (Translated by John E. Steely) The New Testament Environment, Nashville, TN, Abingdon Press. 1976.

Meier, John P. A Marginal Jew Vol.1: The Roots of the Problem and the Person, New York, NY, Doubleday, 1991.

Meier, John P. A Marginal Jew Vol. 3: Companions and Competitors, New York, NY, Doubleday, 2001.

New Jerusalem Bible. New York, NY. Doubleday. 1999.

"Scribes." Jewish Encyclopedia, n.d. Web. http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/articles/13356-scribes




[i] If we may take Mekilta Shirata 10. 29 – 42 as helpful even if it was written much later. https://books.google.com/books?id=eaymyOWLPoQC&pg=PA420&lpg=PA420&dq#v=onepage&q&f=false

[ii] We should keep in mind, however, that the Scribes were not a “homogenous religious group with a united theological agenda,” and that it is unlikely, despite their characterization in the synoptic gospels, that they presented “a united front against Jesus” (Meier “Companions and Competitors” 560).

Saturday, November 7, 2015

A Book of Deeds



This is the Book of Deeds (not words) of 7-Tobit son of 6-Tobiel son of 5-Hannniel son of 4-Aduel son of 3-Gabael son of 2-Raphael son of 1-Raguel-who, though he was no angel, was still a friend of God-from the clan of Asiel and the tribe of Naphtali who, in the days of King Shalmaneser V (or maybe Sargon II), was taken captive from Thisbe (not Pyramus-which was on the other side of that crannied wall) which is South (that is, ‘from the right of’) Kedesh-Naphtali in Upper Galilee, and Northwest (that is,‘behind the road of the sun’s far setting’) of Hazor, and North (which is, ‘from the left of’) Phogar where the Aurochs and Unicorns grazed and which is now known as Tel el Farawy.

This Book of Deeds (not merely words) was written in indefinite, indeterminate times, from an undisclosed location: Palestine? The Diaspora? From the shadows of the undamaged Elephantine Temple in Egypt? From the slopes of Elburz, the watch-guard mountains near the Caspian Sea? Who could say? Perhaps it comes from the dreamland realms of unknown Kadath. I, Tobit, begin this tale of adventure, this folkloric fiction of dubious historical accuracy in the first person. If, at some point, I should switch to a Third Person Omniscient Narrator, well….

I have walked the paths of righteousness all my days, performing charitable deeds of kindness for my kindred and my kin, those deported with me to Nineveh in Assyria, the Fish House where wayward anti-prophets are carried by courier fish.

When I was still young and still at home in Israel, my entire tribe deserted the House of David…and Jerusalem, where the Temple of the Dwelling of God on earth had been consecrated, to make blood sacrifices to the golden calves of Jeroboam, to the Heifer of Ba’al, to the Sun, the Moon, and all the Starry Hosts, in Dan and on all the misted mountains of Galilee. Only I alone (and infrequently some members of my family) would walk the paths of righteousness to Jerusalem for the prescribed festivals, and to pay the tithes of cattle, sheep and shearings, of grain and wine, oil and pomegranates, to the Priests, and Levites, and to the Orphans, and Widows, and Converts. 

I did all this according to the Law of Moses (who came down from Mount Horeb with the stone tablets of the law) and the Instruction of Deborah (my buzzing grandmother, who raised me when I was left an orphan). When I became a man, I married a woman-flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone, and of my own clan. We had a son: Tobiah. What a lucky man I was.

When the exile occurred, I was exiled and taken to the Fish House, home of tyrants and despots, to Nineveh. All my relatives and race ate not heaven’s bread but heathen bread. But I scrupulously avoided it. Let Queen Esther boast about eating the dainties of the King’s cuisine and trying to avoid gentile food; Daniel and Judith and I were careful to keep the observance of kashrut and so, kept our souls.

I remembered God (for remembering is our religious duty) and the Most High-blessed be He-remembered me; he granted me favor and good standing with Shalmaneser V. (Or was it Sargon II?) I was his purveyor, surveyor, buyer, supplier, until the day that he died. I walked the paths and roads to Media which is between Mesopotamia and Kavir-e Nama (The Salt Marshes of Salt) to buy all necessary and many extravagant things for him there in the City of Rhages-where Arphaxad was killed (at least that is what Judith told me…)

While there, I deposited 10 talents of silver with Gabael-the brother (or son-their relationship was odd; I could never understand them) of Gabri.  10 talents of silver may sound like a substantial amount for an average man like myself, and perhaps it was, but remember the 10,000 talents of silver that Hangman Haman offered to Xerxes as a bribe.

But when Shalmaneser V died and his son, Sennacherib (or was it Sargon II? I get all of my anachronisms mixed up.  Maybe it was Enemessarus…) succeeded him the roads and paths to Media were barred-unsafe, with trouble and revolt in Elam and Media. I could not travel there.

During the reign of Shalmeneser V I performed many acts of charity for my brothers and my sisters, giving my food to the hungry and my clothes to the naked-just as the prophets Isaiah and Ezekiel instruct. And if I saw one of my people dead and tossed outside the walls of Nineveh, into the garbage dump, I buried them. –Or was it Calah? It wasn’t until later that Sennacherib moved the capital from Calah to Nineveh… Wherever, burying the dead takes precedent over all, over studying the torah, over circumcising your son, over preparing the paschal lamb. Even condemned criminals and enemies killed in battle are to be honored with a rightful burial. Hygiene and charity go hand in hand here. As Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki will one day say, “The kindness that a man shows the dead is the kindness of truth, for the doer has no hope of a reward from the corpse.” 

It was then that one of the men of Nineveh, a stinking, slinking pettifogger, a low man of high rank, went and informed the king about me, that I was burying the dead, giving them reason to be grateful. And the king was wroth with wrath. Secret police and mercenaries were dispatched with warrant for my arrest and or execution-whichever was easier. So I fled from home in fear to hide in forgotten caves. My property was confiscated; nothing was left to me but my wife and son. And them I could not see, or risk their lives as well.




Continued in:
Flightless Birds and Conspiratorial Attacks in the Night
and
Then I wished to Die

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Then I Wished to Die




The waxy white scales of my blindness persisted and remained unexplained, the questions unanswered. The only explanation given was the bird droppings, sparrows they told me, but were they charmed to act thusly against me? Were they a curse or a spell against me by some jealous enemy? There are ways to charm the birds of the air as well as the beasts of the field. The necessary elements are easily found and the words of the spell are common enough and simply spoken.  These questions remained unanswered as my eyes remained sightless.

During the whole time of my blindness I was supported by family – first by my nephew, Ahiqar, until he moved away to Elymais (where they spoke an unknown and forgotten language), and then by my wife, Hannah. She made a living for us both, though by the wisdom of that “all-virtuous” ben Sira, there is wrath and impudence, and even great disgrace when a woman supports her husband. She made a living for us with her woman’s work, with her weavings.  She delivered what she made to her employers, but what designs did they employ her to weave? This was another lingering question. What patterns did they commission her to create? What shapes? For curses and hexes may be drawn as well as spoken, and what can be drawn with pen and ink on paper, or with salt on the floor, or paint (and blood) on the wall, can also be written in the weaving of a cloth, a binding magic that is strong and difficult to break. Blind as I was, I could not warn her of these things.

Now it happened on the SEVENTH day of the SEVENTH month- Dystrus, of the Macedonian calendar – she delivered the woven web of her work to her employers; they paid her in full and, as a bonus, gave her a goat for the hearth and the meal.

When she brought it into the house where I was, it began to bleat, loudly and incessantly, and to bounce around the room, knocking into pots and walls, and chairs. Suddenly the room was overwarm. I felt faint. I stumbled and fell to the floor. I KNEW that the goat was no gift, but a satanic operative sent to mock and torment me. A familiar spirit, the goat of AZAZEL, sent back to from the desert with the stink of sin on its horns. In its loud bleating I heard it speak cruel and nasty things. It tapped out blasphemies in code on the floor with its cloven hooves.

“Where did this beast come from?” I shouted. “Return it at once. Return it. Three times I say, Return, lest we be tainted with its evil, defiled by its presence and pestilence. It is stolen, isn’t it? Taken from its rightful place. Return it. Return it, for we have not right to what is not ours.”

“It is not stolen,” she shouted. “Not stolen, but given to me as payment for the cloth that I weave.” But I did not believe her. I was blind and could not see, and I did not believe her. I was ashamed and red in the face, too weak to repel and too blind to resist.

Hannah reared and roared, “What good is your goodness? And what reward do you have for your reputation? Can we eat it? Can we eat the food you’ve given to others? But we can eat this goat.”

And then I wished to die, to be released from the earth and to return to the dust.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Flightless Birds and Conspiratorial Attacks in the Night


“Let the dead bury the dead,” they say and I agree. I have shoveled enough for two lifetimes. Let the dead pick up shovel and spade. When hell is full the dead will dig the graves, but until then… I buried one more of the dead; I buried him deep. Obsessed as we were with germs and disease, paranoia, I wore a level III hazmat suit and a mask for protection against both ritual and bacteriological defilement.

And then, when the work was done, the dirt replaced, I sat to rest-for it was hot and I was worn. I tried to rest, but as they say, and again I agree, “there is no rest for the weary.” I sat in the courtyard, now cemetery, with my back against the wall. I removed my gas mask to sleep with my back against the wall and my face uncovered. It was very warm. The sun slowly set through the heat and the dust of the afternoon; the shadow of the wall grew long across the ground.

I slept, but I did not rest. All the while, above me on the wall, perched a flock of flightless birds. How could a flock of flightless birds come to be perched high atop a ten foot wall? Yes. Ask the question. It is one of the many questions that remain unanswered, and largely unasked. The Median media is silent and there are few who will listen to angels in disguise or to men of disrepute.

Their warm droppings fell into my eyes as I slept, into my uncovered eyes. I was not aware of the birds, did not hear their chirping chatter, did not smell their dripping feces. Their droppings contained no smelly protein sulfides and there is no fermentation in the birds’ guts. Coprophagia is rare among birds (unlike mammals including dogs and some humans) so there is little reason for these particular bird droppings to have had a foul odor. Yet I wonder: these droppings were unusual in every other regard-so why did they have no odor, no alerting scent? Another unasked and unanswered question that will only be ignored and forgotten.

The white droppings of this flightless flock of birds perched upon my wall were rich in fertilizing nitrogen, but my eyes are not fields and there will be no harvest. If that were all I may have retained my vision, but there was something worse: Microplasma Fravishivirus is what they call it-or, rather, what they don’t call it, because they will neither confirm nor deny anything that is developed in their pharmaceutical kingdom of darkness. This virus does not exist, except in isolated outbreaks, purposefully unleashed and carefully contained to limit the exposure. They would not want to initiate the eschaton too soon. They are careful and meticulous about these things.

And what is even more: as I slept they (either the birds or their trainers, I do not know, for the fowlers are just as foul as their noxious plague-work) sprayed me with an odorless chemical solvent known as Spectrazinomaldehyde-a toxic brew of Diazinon, Benzene, and other complex Carbon chains. When the vomiting and vertigo passed and my blood pressure stabilized, when the anxiety receded and my body temperature leveled out, I was left with a burning film in my eyes and white, waxy scales encrusted my eye sockets. I was blind.

My wife found me screaming and crawling in the dirt, and vomit, and enuresis. She rushed me to the hospital where I was treated by a team of doctors and specialists who, in the end, could do (or would do) me no good. Yes, they applied ointments and salves and they dutifully dusted my lemon soured eyes with sweet, pink powders and, for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of light. But there was nothing but darkness.

All my life on paths of quiet patience…
I eat my food in sorrow and in silence.
I wash.
I remember the prophets.
I remember all your songs.

THE PATIENT presented Monday, May 16, 2016 (the day after Pentecost) with sudden, acute loss of vison. Opacification of the normally translucent structures of the eyes caused by contamination of unknown foreign substance. Has he no fear? Is he not hunted and haunted and hated? The REPORTS of flies and plagues and biohazard may be unwarranted, but we remain skeptical of his claims. Flightless birds and conspiratorial attacks in the night... Soon he will be raving about river monster and demonic attacks. This is all too much. Let his property be seized as payment, and banish the patient.









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Muted Hosannas Muted Hosannas
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