Biblical Limericks: I’ll Bet They Paid Her in Singles

King Xerxes, drinking wine with his men,
called for the Queen to entertain them.
“Come, Vashti, wear your crown,
but take your fine robes down,
so we can see your beauty again.”

Esther 1: 5 - 11

Twerking Before the Lord

The internets have been ablaze recently with heated discussions – especially among Christians - about the sexually provocative attire and ‘twerking’ of Miley Cyrus at the MTV Music Video Awards.  But this is not the first instance of provocative attire and dancing causing disgust among the faithful – not by a long shot. 

“Wearing only a linen ephod, David was twerking before the Lord with all his might, while he and all Israel were bringing up the ark of the Lord with shouts and the sound of trumpets.

As the ark of the Lord was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and twerking before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.”

2 Samuel 6: 14 – 16 (SAV – Slightly Altered Version…)

A Sad Post wherein I Betray Some of my Ignorance and Failure

I recently auditioned for a role in a musical. I've been in a few shows over the years and I enjoy singing and acting. But I was really out of my league for this one.  The others that I observed auditioning were seriously well trained singers and competent dancers.  (I can't dance - and betrayed my ignorance when I asked for a definition and description of a "ball-change" during the dance audition...)

I was really surprised to get a callback invitation.
But in the end I didn't get the part.

Ah, well.  My wife says that I shouldn't expect to get a part in every show I audition for...

The above is a small collage / painting that I made some time ago.  If I can't dance, then at least I can paint.

Dancing at Weddings

I’m not much of a dancer.  Never have been, never will be and I’m pretty much okay with that.  About the only time I get a chance to dance is at weddings.

Yesterday had the privilege of officiating (what a terrible verb) the wedding of my friend Tanner.  Tanner was a teenager in my congregation.  We’ve moved since then – we’ve been gone for seven years, but Tanner called me and asked if I would come back to marry him and his fiancé.  I was honored that he asked. (It means, of course, that I’m old… but never mind that.) The wedding ceremony was wonderful. Tanner looked nervous. The bride looked beautiful.  People cried.  It was pretty much everything a wedding ceremony should be.

And at the reception afterwards I had my chance to dance.I danced with my wife to Eric Clapton’s song Wonderful Tonight.  My daughter rolled her eyes and refused to dance with me.  

And Tanner’s younger sister gave me a giant hug and shouted over the music, “You taught me to dance.”  That was, of course, at a wedding several years ago. 

Quit Imagining and Do Something

I can only imagine

What it will be like

When I walk

By Your side

I can only imagine

What my eyes will see

When Your face

Is before me

This is the point when I admit how far out of step I am with the rest of popular American Christianity, and you will be obligated to denounce me.

 I don’t like this song.

It’s been around for awhile now – MercyMe wrote it back in 1999 for their album The Worship Project, but I have never really liked it.  Musically, it’s not terrible.  It has a nice enough melody. What I don’t like is the song’s failure to be in the here and now.

It’s completely focused on a “heaven someday…” kind of view.  The song says that I can’t know anything of heaven now.  I can only imagine what it might be like in the future.  And the song says that I can’t do anything of heaven.  I can only imagine it.

The dominant cultural associations and
misunderstandings about heaven has been at work for
so long, it’s almost automatic for many to think of heaven
as ethereal, intangible, esoteric, and immaterial.

Floaty, dreamy, hazy,
Somewhere else.
People in white robes with perfect hair floating by on
clouds, singing in perfect pitch. [i]

But what I see in reading the scriptures is that Heaven isn’t something that we can “only imagine” in the far off future someday – but heaven is with us, in us, and we are in it now.

Check the gospels – how many times did Jesus say “the kingdom of heaven is here” is “within you.”   Or check out what Paul said in Ephesians 2 – God has raised us up with Christ “and seated us with him in the heavenly realms…”

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of you be still?

Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing hallelujah; will I be able to speak at all?

If we are “seated with him in the heavenly realms” we are – in the here and now – worshipping God in heaven.  If we dance for Jesus or if we are still – now – it is worship in heaven now.  Not heaven someday maybe.

We have –already – come to the heavenly Jerusalem, the city of the living God.  We have come into the presence of thousands upon thousands of angels in joyful assembly, to the church of those whose names are written in heaven. (Hebrews 12: 22 -23)

So quit imagining what it might be like someday maybe…
Make it so – now.

“Making Heaven on earth is our business” – General William Booth –founder of The Salvation Army  

---

[i] Bell, Rob Love Wins pg. 56 -7

Something Like Oxygen

You can laugh.
You can smile.
You can dance.
Breathe.
It's something like Oxygen.

Music by Thatjeffcarter was here.

Bring on the Dancing Horses

First I'm gonna make it 
Then I'm gonna break it
Till it falls apart
Hating all the faking
And shaking while I'm breaking
Your brittle heart.

-Echo and the Bunnymen

Pas de Deux

I don't know what happened, but somehow blogspot swallowed two of my writings, so I am reposting them.

Pas de Deux

We make these practiced poses
and take the ritual steps
beneath the gaze of spectators who’ve come
to be amused and aroused,
entertained by the spilling of blood
            (whether yours or mine – they don’t care).

And so we dance: Step step flourish,
step turn, step turn, flourish.

I will hold as you charge.
I will thrust as you pass,
and I will weep as the crowd
throws their affection

or

I will flinch as you approach
and be bone crushed into bloodied sand
beneath your crashing hooves and
eviscerated by your gory horns.

Either way, the dance
will end step turn
flourish with death.

Midnight Fairy Dance (Mushrooms in the Yard)

Late last night, after the rain stopped, I heard this song. I threw on some clothes and my shoes and went out to investigate. That's when I saw them, dancing beneath a mushroom that had sprung up in the wet darkness of the yard, those fairy lights. I watched for several moments, entranced by their song. But they noticed me and flew away. I'm going out again tonight to see if I can hear them singing again.

You can download it here.

In this song I used some samples from The Freesound Project.
Cold 3
Sound Singing 3
Ding-dong-ding-dong