Prophecy Club Minutes - 06.16.26

 

Prophecy Club

06.16.26
7:34 pm
First Bethel Baptist Church Basement

ATTENDANCE

Present Members: Brothers Haggai, Joel, Daniel, Jonah, Ezekiel, Micah (arrived late) and Agabus
Guests Present: “Brother Abel”
There was a quorum present

ORDERS OF BUSINESS

The meeting opened with our standard invocation: “Open our eyes that we may see wonderful things in your law.” Open our eyes now, Lord. Amen.

The minutes of the previous meeting were read and entered into the record.

Unfinished Business

Brother Joel presented a report from the UAP Committee (Formerly UFO Committee) concerning the Committee’s letterhead and business cards. The business cards were received in order, but the letterhead had to be returned due to a misspelling.

New Business

Brother Jonah reported that he’d heard from a friend, who had been told by his doctor that the hospital’s pharmaceutical sales rep had mentioned that they are encouraged to get their “5 by 50” – that is getting people on five different medications by the age of fifty. Brother Jonah wondered if the group thought this something worth considering and investigating. Brother Joel suggested that this sounds like it might be an urban legend. And, in any case, the information reported was little more than hearsay.

Brother Ezekiel of the Man of Perdition Committee reported that online search results indicate that the following individuals should be considered as possible candidates for the Antichrist: Donald J. Trump, Elon Musk, King Charles III, and Emmanuel Macron. Brother Ezekiel indicated that the committee would investigate King Charles III and Macron but did not believe that either Trump or Musk warranted an investigation. Brother Agabus commented that this was “myopic.”

Brother Daniel motioned that Brother Agabus be issued a Waterless Cloud Warning Card. The motion was seconded by Brother Joel. Per the Prophecy Club bylaws, a Waterless Cloud Warning Card censure must be passed unanimously. No abstentions are permitted. Vote was called. Brother Haggai voted No. The censure failed to pass.

Brother Joel of the UAP Committee was asked about the blue clouds that appeared recently over the Midwest. Brother Joel reported that the Chinese Landspace Zhuque 2E Y5 rocket – launched from the Dongfeng commercial space innovation pilot zone in northwest China – carrying a 2.8 ton payload into a 900 km polar orbit, had dumped methalox (a methane and liquid oxygen fuel mixture). That was the cause of the bright blue clouds. Further questions were raised concerning the timing of this event, occurring as it did during Trump’s visit to China. Several members wondered if this were coincidence or something more nefarious. Brother Joel promised to investigate.

Special Guest “Brother Abel” reported that during a recent trip to Oklahoma he’d had a dream in which he was preaching on the role of the United States of America in Biblical prophecy. In the middle of the sermon, a severe weather alert was broadcast on the radio. There were storms, and fiery tornadoes, and the multicolored sun appeared to dance a zigzag across the sky. “Brother Abel” asked for the Prophecy Club to help him consider the implications of this dream. Lengthy discussion followed.

Brother Micah asked whether the group should consider a service project for the poor or the immigrants who have been moving into the neighborhood around First Bethel Baptist. Discussion was tabled for lack of time.

CLOSING

Brother Joel led us in the closing prayer: Lord, You are our refuge and fortress. Guard our hearts and minds. Protect us from demonic attack, physical harm, and emotional wounds. Keep us safe in the shadow of Your wings. Amen.

We will hold the next board meeting on 07.16.26 at 7:34pm. The meeting will be a top-secret Strategy Briefing. The password will be: a vision from their own heart, not the mouth of Jehovah. Do not share with nonmembers.

The meeting ended at 11:34pm
[Signatures of minute taker and board president]

Previous Minutes: 
05.16.26
Topics for Discussion

Topics for Discussion – Prophecy Club – Meeting May 14

    The European Union has ten member states, now eleven. Count the number of stars in the flag if you don’t understand. The Prophecy Club has all this information. We know the identity of the all-seeing eye.

    JFK’s assassination was a Masonic symbol enacted in life – or death, rather. Strike him on the left breast. Strike him on the neck. Strike him on the head. Dead.

    Remember the exploding teeth of the 19^th century? Metal fillings generated a galvanic effect, filled with hydrogen and exploded like a gunshot.

    Ground penetrating radar was used to discover subterranean rooms and chambers in a ‘boat like’ geologic anomaly in the mountains of Turkey. Ron Wyatt found it and nearly a hundred other Biblical artifacts. Explain that one if you can.

    The Parthenon of Greece has forty-six pillars. The human body has forty-six chromosomes. Do you see it yet? It’s all there if you know how to see. If you know how to count. 

    The James Webb telescope is already discovering galaxies that should not exist. Aren’t you even curious as to why?

    Pale as a ghost and dressed in black, the rulers of darkness know only the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life. Lawless and loveless.

    We are concerned how the prosperity of the community will be affected by the proposed construction of a Muslim cemetery. It will bring unwanted traffic into the neighborhood – traffic that puts school children at risk. Sign the petition to keep the dead Muslims out of our community.

    The secular humanist misunderstands biology so that he can better misunderstand theology. History, the same. Mathematics too. Precept upon precept, it all adds up. But he refuses the call of Wisdom.

Listening for the Etheric Vibrations of Treason

It’s no secret that U. S. Intelligence agencies had military trained psychics using ESP to monitor the crew members of ROCKET TEAM ONE. (Don’t say that they “spied on the crew,” of course. The U. S. Government does not spy on its citizens.) Even though the crew kept in constant, round-the-clock radio contact with the ground control team at Cape Canaveral, and each of them recorded regular video updates for consumption by the general public through the scandalrags and other news media, the CIA – in rare cooperation with the NSA, the DIA, and the FBI – maintained a team of a dozen psychics in a dimly lit room, in an abandoned building along the shore of Lake Erie in Cleveland, Ohio.

These government issued clairvoyants peered through the ether of space to assure their leaders that the crew of ROCKET TEAM ONE was not being controlled or otherwise directed or manipulated by hostile entities – be they foreign, domestic, or extraterrestrial. They didn’t want antagonistic groups like the American Civil Liberties Union, or enemy governments like the New Soviet Arab Alliance to subvert the mission. And the great mysteries of space were too unknown to trust that the crew wouldn’t come under the influence of beings, or life-forces, or demonic entities from other parts of the galaxy. 

So the psychics of PROJECT SUNSTREAK (officially begun in 1977 as PROJECT GONDALA WISH, closed in 1995, and reopened two years before the launch of ROCKET TEAM ONE) using remote viewing, tarot cards, and catoptromancy (that is the prediction of future events with a mirror) monitored (never spied upon) the crew. These secret agents, known as specularii, watched for unregulated use of communications equipment, suspicious secretive behavior, and erratic sleep patterns, and listened for etheric vibrations and other precursors that might indicate either treason by the crew or malicious interference by an outside entity.

It’s a shame that the specularii agents didn’t foresee the event that led to the death of Lt. Vanner Anderson, but other than that, their work was deemed successful and vital to the space program of the United States – even if independent scientific research agencies could not replicate their results and criticized their methodology[1].

About this time, the NSA also worked in a surprising collaboration with the Vatican’s Secret Police to track down a Defense Department satellite that had gone off course and crashed into the Mediterranean Sea. A report from the specularii indicated that rogue mental transmissions from ROCKET TEAM ONE, that is to say - paranoid psychic outbursts from one unidentified member of the crew, caused the satellite to break from its orbit. These psychic outbursts, the report said, took the form of a repetitive lyric:

“Ezekiel saw the wheel way up in the middle of the air. Ezekiel saw the wheel way up in the middle of the air. And the little wheel run by faith. And the big wheel run by the grace of God. A wheel in a wheel, way up in the middle of the air…”

The specularii prognosticated that there would be a great conflagration erupting in the North West, July 15, 1976 – and of a great many bombs falling in that place – and that a Second American Civil War would break out when President Jimmy Carter was arrested. These predictions were taken as unsubstantiated “miss

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[1]  The administrators of these independent scientific research agencies were subsequently committed to insane asylums by the IRS, forcibly committed in some cases.

John Hagee Describes the Naked Merciless Power of the Illuminati

I was goofing around last night with some of John Hagee's paranoia.  This is the result.


If you enjoy this kind of nonsense you can download it here.

I made this in Ableton Live 8 with stuff I recorded myself, and with these samples from the Freesound Project:

More Light
Asia 8
Bleep Pong Noise
Feedback

I also used a clip from Beneath the Planet of the Apes (in a slightly altered form...)